Financial&family struggle

[Radicaldecision]

I got engaged almost 2 years ago after being together for 5 years but no solid wedding has been planned yet because of 2 main reasons, my mother being against this marriage and my fiancé is financially unstable. My mom and I have a mortgage together on a very expensive property which my fiancé hates about since most of my income goes towards that mortgage. I did it for my mom at that time as she was begging me for over a year to help her to buy this house thats over her budget...
So my finance is tied up about 60%.
And my fiancé has a full time job and has a separate small business with his business partner. Even with that, his income is less than mine.
Now he's trying to buy the business from his business partner as this partner doesn't want to own it and wants to sell. so he's trying to save up a lot of money so he can own the business (he doesnt want to see the business).
Besides the wedding being postponed forever, we're living in this cottage that my fiancé bought that had everything ripped out. He wanted to use this as his business property once he owns the business solely. Until then he wouldnt spend money on this house sinc ehe cant write off. But there's no real kitchen and black molds upstairs. It has been over 2.5years now. I've paid for gas line and bathroom plumbing and cleaning the molds since that's the minimum necessity... but I don't want to pay for more repairs for his future "business property". There's still no real kitchen, and ceiling is water damaged. I honestly don't feel like pushing for the wedding either anymore. He's never mentioned what or when he would like to have a wedding. I'm not sure if he even wants a wedding.
Because of his lack of commitment to marriage/ wedding and financial situation, my family is against this marriage, especially my mom. She doesnt trust him and thinks he would never commit to the marriage. And because of that and the fact that she made me get mortgage for her, my fiancé hates her.
And I lately feel more that he'd be better off by himself. I hate to keep stressing him out with the wedding and repairing this cottage for us to live like a normal human being. he can save his money and do what he wants with his business instead. I don't know how to say this to him. I still care for him but after all this over the last 2 years, I don't love him, I just feel sorry to break up with him.

Why are you wanting a wedding with someone you don't love? Leave him.

It sounds as if the business is more important to him than the home you're trying to share and build together. In which case, I'd say maybe it's time to tell him that you'd be happier living somewhere else until the cottage is sorted out - whether that's together or apart, it's up to him, but you can't keep living in those conditions indefinitely.

Personally, I'd tell your family to stay out of your relationship. If you're old enough to finance all this work and mortgage etc, then you're old enough to deal with the relationship issues. It was your choice to get into it, now decide if you want to stay with him - 2.5 years is too long to wait for those things to be sorted out though. But all credit to you for supporting him through it all for such a long time.

Your Mum is probably worried that if you marry him, you will want out of the mortgage and bang goes her housing!

I can see it from his point of view as well tbh - who wants to marry into a family who dislike him? It all sounds very stressful which isn’t a good start to married life.

Why on earth did you get a mortgage with your Mum, it makes things so much more difficult, unless you re rolling in money and can take on another joint mortgage.

Sounds like he’s getting you to lend a hand in repairing the cottage and keeping you sweet whilst doing so. Then he’ll drop the bombshell of not wanting to get married. He’ll use the excuse financially I’m guessing. (We can’t afford it. We still have this and that to pay for)

OP it seems like the people who should have your best interests at heart are taking advantage of you financially and I am quite angry on your behalf. You need to start saying no by the way.

Most partners would not be happy that you have 60% of your income tied up on your mother’s mortgage. Did you share the house with her before you met DP?

Although it seems to me that he isn’t much better with money than your mother and you probably need to call it a day.

How many more years are you tied to this mortgage with your mum? Will she ever be able to buy you out?

What a long OP just to put the most (and indeed only) important point in the final line: you don't love him. Leave him, don't marry him, both move on with your lives and be happier.