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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Fighting all the time

4 replies

ThatWorthySheep · 03/07/2024 13:11

Would you be OK with your boyfriend keeping photos of ex’s including ones focused on their breasts? Especially if they were still in some level of contact with them? I’m not and it’s one of the things he apparently can’t see an issue with as he’s with me now.
I struggle with understanding jokes and he would sent flirtatious messages to female friends, he said they’re not genuine and It’s just banter and funny to pretend to be sleazy.
He spoke about any relationship issues with an ex girlfriend, she’s been a friend for years now. Even our sex life and when I was excited about a potential pregnancy that I hadn’t told anyone else about (it was negative). They would go on about how crazy I am, calling me names.
We took a break but are still in contact and haven’t had intimacy or sex in 10 months, and things are really rocky. He won’t even apologise for any of it and doesn’t see the issue I have with any of this. Like me he wants to stop the fights and go back to normal, we like each other but he’s said if I don’t let the issues go and stop talking about them he doesn’t want to be nice to me.

OP posts:
Parkmybentley · 03/07/2024 13:13

You've been apart for 10 months? He's not your boyfriend.

On/off relationships are addictive because of the intense emotional ups and downs. Do yourself a favour and wean yourself off like you would any other addiction to something that's harmful to you!

Find a nicer more sensible man who will treat you with respect. You will probably find it boring

ActualChips · 03/07/2024 13:20

This is not a relationship. Forget the man, work on your self esteem and standards. The only point in having a relationship is that it's fun and enhances your life. That's it.

Only date exceptionally high quality men, there's no need to date knuckle dragging idiots.

Shoxfordian · 03/07/2024 13:26

Block his number, you can do better

ThatWorthySheep · 03/07/2024 19:16

I have been considering it but I don’t know. I want to learn to talk about things without the need of creating such a hostile environment. He feels attacked by the way that I come across, and I admit that I can be very accusatory. Because we’ve fought so much, we haven’t spent any time together or enjoyed one another’s company but I want to change that. His idea is just to drop what happened in the past and start on a new slate, but I find it hard to do that and act like nothings happened knowing he’s done certain things that make me uncomfortable

OP posts:
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