How to end it?

[Ilovetolurk]

Looking for some advice on ending a long-term relationship that hasn’t been right for a while, but is not awful in any way.

We do not live together but spend every weekend together and holidays. I’ve been avoiding booking future holidays or planning events as I know that I need to end it, but I don’t seem to be able to say anything.

I am sad because I have made some wonderful friends that are his friends and will stay that way, and his children and their families are lovely, and I am also giving those relationships up.

I read all the time on here about terrible men and he is a lovely person who would do anything for me and mostly enhances my life. It’s just that I don’t love him or want to stay with him for the rest of my life. It stopping me meeting someone else and it’s stopping him being with someone who could make him much happier and not be holding him at arm’s length.

I don’t think I need counselling as I’m not unhappy, but I think I need help in working through my thoughts to bolster myself into doing what I need to do. Has anyone been in similar circumstances and how did you get to the point of ending it?

These things usually just fizzle out. I think the modern term is slow fade. Sounds like your fella is totally oblivious to your intentions though?

Thank you @Jutemat I wish it was that easy. He’s not one for being fizzled out unfortunately, he is if anything clingier than he’s ever been (in the way that these things often work out) as I step back he tries to fill the gap. Some morning he’ll text me, I’m busy at work so don’t reply and by midday he’s ringing my son and am I still alive.

In the past I would’ve just responded back in the morning and had a call but I just don’t feel like I want to anymore, it feels like a chore.

I feel like if you respect him you just need to sit him down and tell him. That would be the best for all concerned.

Feels like this is a good starting point:
I don’t love him or want to stay with him for the rest of my life. It stopping me meeting someone else and it’s stopping him being with someone who could make him much happier and not be holding him at arm’s length.

I think I have been where your partner is at right now, and he probably has nagging doubts of his own, one of you needs to put both of you out of your misery sooner rather than later. You both deserve someone that you love and loves you back

He sounds very needy

He is a bit. Didn’t start out that way