Seemed okay about it at first but not sure she is now. I’m trying to keep them separate but I want to be honest with my mum as she raised me. I’ve met him in person once recently.
my mum had admitted that she made it really hard for him to see me when I was small and he was heartbroken but he did cheat on her and she was young and heartbroken too. A long time has passed. I’m not craving a close relationship with him, just to meet him, be on good terms and closure if possible. He seems like a decent guy. She also admitted that male relatives had threatened him to stay away. Yes he did cheat on my mum which was wrong but was it right ti keep him away from me? I do not know. But then could he have tried harder?
my mum said she wanted to come with me when I met him. I said no I wanted to go alone.
she also talked about how heartbroken she was. I get it, I really do but I’ve 30 years have passed. She’s married with 3 more kids and he’s married with kids also.
I feel like saying it’s not really about your heartbreak anymore.
he never paid maintenance but my mum never told them who my dad was - back then getting income support was different and they’d try get it out the dad first before paying benefits. But she said she didn’t know how my father was.
she says she wants to ask him for backpay and I am like wtf!
she seems to be making it about her and not me?! I feel torn.
she never spoke much of him growing up but she’s been telling my younger half sisters a lot lately she never told me and I feel a bit put out by that.
I get he was never there and she raised me and I appreciate it but I’m just confused keeping everyone happy!
she also said if I meet my half siblings then I’d still have to be closer to my half siblings on my mums side but I’m not overly close to then anyway as they are a lot younger! I’ve not met my half siblings in bio dads side but they aren’t as young as my siblings on mums side. We might get on well as friends. It’s not a competition and yes undoubtedly I’ll probably always be closer to the ones on mums side growing up with then albeit them being younger. I doubt I will be close to siblings on dads side but it’s like she doesn’t want me to know them.
anyone else been through this?