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13 Year Old Brother is Much Worse Than I Thought, But We're Growing Closer, And Its Made me Re Consider how the internt for my own child

4 replies

JoJoAnnaGF · 02/07/2024 15:43

Edit: Im aware of the typos in the title, sorry!

Some of you may remember my previous thread where I talked about how my 13 year old brother was an absolute menace and how my parents really didn't care

TL;DR of that post is basically how I moved back in with my old parents after a messy divorce with my own daughter, and my 13-year-old brother, who I never really had a relationship with, turned out to be a misogynist and racist. He followed all your typical Andrew Tate types, and his parents didn't do much to correct his behavior and school as a 'boys will be boys' attitude.

I started dragging him with me to my mom and daughter dates and as much as he rolled his eyes at me, I could definitely see another side of him coming out. I started looking at the content he was looking at on his phone, started curating it, setting limits on his phone use - and to my surprise he was...receptive? Its almost as if he knew all of it was bad for him in the first place. But he was super protective of his phone. Which i eventually got into.

What I did find was horrific. TW.

Gore, porn, 4chan, a lot of discord channels with a lot of older people. No fucking wonder he was the way he was., and so much more I do not want to get into. These were videos saved on his phone!! How in the goddamn hell was all of this available to a freakin 13-year-old. How. Literally just how. Is it THAT easily accessible these days?

I am seriously considering not letting my child on the internet until they're 15-16. Even the Surgeon General said something to that effect. I apologize for being all over the place. I just wanted to rant and give an update here.

How are you guys handling letting your kids access the internet?

OP posts:
INeedAnotherName · 02/07/2024 15:55

How in the goddamn hell was all of this available to a freakin 13-year-old. How. Literally just how. Is it THAT easily accessible these days?
That's down to (crap) parenting. How do you think the Internet can stop anyone from looking at information unless you have to pay?

I talked to my dc about bad websites in general, how you can't believe everything out there. I originally used to check their phones but as they got older (and having had no concerns), this tapered off. Maybe I got lucky but in my view it starts and ends with proper parenting. You can't outsource it to sm platforms.

JoJoAnnaGF · 10/07/2024 15:57

INeedAnotherName · 02/07/2024 15:55

How in the goddamn hell was all of this available to a freakin 13-year-old. How. Literally just how. Is it THAT easily accessible these days?
That's down to (crap) parenting. How do you think the Internet can stop anyone from looking at information unless you have to pay?

I talked to my dc about bad websites in general, how you can't believe everything out there. I originally used to check their phones but as they got older (and having had no concerns), this tapered off. Maybe I got lucky but in my view it starts and ends with proper parenting. You can't outsource it to sm platforms.

My parents had him really really late, and they were not ready to raise a Gen z kid!

OP posts:
pollypocketss · 10/07/2024 20:04

How old were your parents when they had him?

Interesting thought, I sometimes wonder if parents are parented out by they time they have their last child and they sometimes seem to be the most wildest child.

TheSandgroper · 11/07/2024 03:15

If you can get to his phone, can you install a keystroke tracker or something that mirrors what he is looking at onto his phone? And then install the best parental controls you can? Our school had everyone install https://family.zone/.

He sounds as if he is desperate for firm boundaries. Would you say he he is really unhappy with how he is living and looking for someone he loves showing him the pathway he needs to walk?

Very well done for the work you are doing. Stay strong. Have a look here https://www.esafety.gov.au/ and here https://www.ysafe.com.au/ for further information. The late Celia Lashlie adored boys and worked in prisons to help grow wonderful men. She was fab to listen to. https://www.amazon.com.au/s?k=celia+lashlie&i=stripbooks&crid=2C3C9P7OJ8JND&sprefix=celia+lash%2Cstripbooks%2C296&ref=nb_sb_ss_pltr-data-refreshed_1_10. https://www.abebooks.com/servlet/SearchResults?cm_sp=SearchF--topnav--Results&ds=20&kn=Celia%20lashlie&sts=t.
https://m.youtube.com/results?sp=mAEA&search_query=Celia+lashlie
https://www.google.com/search?q=celia+lashlie+podcast&rlz=1C9BKJA_enAU811AU811&oq=celia+lashlie+&gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUqBwgDEAAYgAQyCggAEEUYFhgeGDkyBggBEEUYPDIHCAIQABiABDIHCAMQABiABDIGCAQQRRg8MgYIBRBFGDwyBwgGEC4YgAQyBwgHEAAYgAQyBwgIEAAYgAQyBwgJEAAYgATSAQg2NTYyajBqNKgCArACAQ&hl=en-GB&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8
also Maggie Dent https://www.amazon.com.au/s?k=Maggie+dent&i=stripbooks&crid=8ASFTNGJX3R8&sprefix=maggie+dent%2Cstripbooks%2C339&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

ySafe - Australia's Leading Cyber Safety Educators

Educating over 300,000 students every year, ySafe’s award-winning team provides cyber safety education and support to hundreds of schools across Australia.

https://www.ysafe.com.au

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