Narcissist anxiety. Caught him cheating!

[Ineedpeace]

Just need some advice about getting over a narcissistic relationship. I broke things off yesterday after him lying to me over and over again and unfortunately I went to the lengths to set a honey trap and sadly he went for it. First of all he seemed amazing, buying me presents, cleaning for me, buying things for around the house and doing diy, he moved himself in despite my requesting that we had 2 nights a week separate. One day that changed into something completely different. He had me blocked on social media, snapchat and insta so I couldn't see who he followed. He told me it was a glitch and he couldn't fix it! Wouldn't contact me. Ignored my calls. Only spoke to me when he had no one else around. Every time I tried to talk about my feelings he screamed at me and told me I was just guilt tripping him. This has been going on since April. He would come and stay at my house when he had work in London the next day. We stopped having sex (his choice) but he had viagra in his bag. However he told me we were still together and would always come back to eachother. He's broken it off twice before but always does the "I love you, I'm sorry" thing.

Yesterday I called him crying because we are so distant and a violent incident had happened on my road and I didn't feel safe. He lost it and hung up on me and said he was going back to sleep. This is when I set the honey trap on snapchat (bear in mind he is 46) and found out he was telling people he was single and following them on insta. He told them if he had a mrs she would be all over his social media. I immediately called him and broke it off. He then tried to make out it was my fault. Saying I'm obsessed with social media etc.

I'm today feeling guilty as I have a massive guilt complex. He has health issues and is currently undergoing tests for bladder cancer. I feel like he is going to tell everyone I left because of that and not because of the way that he treated me. I truly believe he is a narcissist but can't get past the guilt and anxiety. I really did adore him. Please if anyone has any advice I would be so grateful.

F*ck. Him. Off.
Whatever other issues he's got (apart from lying, cheating, gaslighting): They're his problems, they're not your issue, not your fault, you can't let them affect your decision to do WHAT'S RIGHT FOR YOU.
Block and delete. You did adore him, but he didn't deserve it and he doesn't care about anyone but himself. Your mental health and self worth will be shredded if you do anything but head swiftly for the exit.
I can't imagine there's anyone here will tell you different, there will be some who have had bad experiences themselves, feel bitter, but - objectively - this person is unworthy of love.

Google trauma bond, and abuse cycle.

Abusive relationship 100%.

Protect your mental state

Thank you so so much for your replies. I am a person who needs so much reassurance otherwise I doubt myself and feel guilty. I asked him outright about his health issued and he still won't tell me. I've told him I can't be there when he leaves my key as it is making me so ill. I've just got a prescription for diazepam so hopefully that will make me feel better.

I would suggest you get your locks changed, don't worry about the key he has.

Don’t doubt yourself - your instincts were right all along, so trust them.
Are there friends around who you can spend more time with, right now? I found that being busy and with people works as the best medicine for anxiety and depression, they’re usually not addictive and don’t have bad side effects!

Are you sure about the bladder cancer, or could this be something he has made up or exaggerated? Speaking as someone with bladder cancer, there weren't "tests", just a single cystoscopy, followed by an op.