So I have a sister who is 6 years older than me. Growing up she would pick on me a lot until I would end up in fits of tears, she showed favouritism to our younger sister and made it very obvious she preferred her over me. As we got older it was very much the same. I find her to be arrogant, shuts down my opinions or contradicts them. I feel as though I am walking on eggshells around her and cant be myself for fear of offending her. We are just very very different people and I suspect don't like each other much. She also physically attacked me years ago. We so not see each other often at all maybe a couple of times a year.
We both have 2 DCs, hers are older than mine and her son has significant ASD non verbal. My DD is also query ASD/ADHD but funtions pretty well. We spent time with them recently and I really got the sense that she was looking for some help from me with her child during the summer months. She is currently not working but looking for work and was talking a lot about how hard it is, which i sympathise with. It just really felt that she was trying to insinuate that she wanted me to offer help.
My question is I do not feel any obligation to help her but am i very mean for not wanting to help or not offering help? I think she is self serving and trying to use me. She has done this before when we lived together briefly where she would hint at things or would leave her child with me and go off somewhere without saying anything. Am I wrong to not want to help? I can understand that it is very difficult for them with a child with significant needs but because of how she treated me in the past and how badly she has effected my self esteem I do feel like I have any obligation. Wondering what others think?