Tips for a cross cultural relationship

[ILikeEggsAnd]

Hi
I wanted to share my tips from all that I’ve learnt the hard way from being in an inter cultural marriage and I just hope it helps someone avoid the same mistakes

Tip 1: Meet your SO family FACE TO FACE. I regret not doing it and meeting my MIL only five days before my wedding and never meeting my SIL until we married. They were nice over video call until I finally met SILs family and they started being disrespectful and racist. To this day I regret not meeting them face to face to know their true colours

Tip 2: If there is disrespect/ racism see if your SO stands up for you. My DH didn’t stand up for me so I blocked them. I wish I met them sooner so I could have left him as my BF but now married with a kid, it’s harder.

Given a choice to do it again, I would have found someone local. I have learnt to hate my cross cultural marriage and I only wish I had realised all of it sooner. However, not all might be bad so I’m not dissuading anyone to continue a cross cultural relationship. I just wish I gave it more thought.
Good luck!

I only hope this post helps others. I don’t want any advices/ judgments but feel free if you want to add any more tips to help others who might be contemplating a cross cultural relationship.

I’m sorry you’ve had such a bad experience. I’m Arab and married to a white British man and I’ve experienced more racism from his side of the family than him from mine. My side treat him like another son and brother. With his side, despite all being educated and from a culture that is supposedly more open minded, there have been countless issues, from pure ignorance such as assuming all brown people no matter where they are from are the same to openly talking disparaging about my faith and background.

Family members of his boycotted our wedding and him marrying me caused a divide in his family. I am often challenged on how we are bringing up our children when in reality there is nothing we are doing that different to anyone else. It’s not been easy at all. Even DH is amazed as he fully expected my family and extended family to have issues with him because he’s not an Arab but he never expected it to be the other way round.

My biggest tip is to have a friend in a similar situation, a similar set up, so that you can talk about your issues together with someone else who will understand. Talking to someone else who knows nothing about cross cultural relationships and they won’t get any of it, and that can be difficult.