living apart with kids after living together

[loulou0401]

hi everyone i’m looking for some advice and curious if anyone has been in a similar situation.

basically i’ve been with my partner 4 years.
last year i moved in with him after us having two babies together as we wanted to be a blended family. he has two children full time when we got together and also myself two children split custody and now our two babies. we used to alternate the time between both houses with all the children before we moved in together and that worked well.

but the living situation didn’t work well after moving in together due to him never being home and out socialising all the time and me being left with all the kids constantly and left to do everything. so after 1 year we both split up after constant arguments and decided we needed to live in separate houses if we had any chance of surviving.
we both love each other very much and have still been meeting up for family time with the babies and date nights alone ( intimacy too) but keeping the older children out of it as we want to see how things go( as far as they are aware we are no longer a couple but are good friends) but i’m feeling rather lost. can it work going from living with someone all the time to being alone every night except the odd occasion and my partner almost swanning around like he has a single life and then this family unit on the side ? it's like his life has warped back to how it was when we met and my life is on a stand still as i feel like im chasing about to see him and to make plans with me and the kids and wondering what the future holds and if things can go back to how they was before i made the mistake of moving in with him.
has anyone been in this situation ? obviously if we decide to make a proper go of it living apart but still together the older children will be made aware and this will definitly help in seeing each other more and spending time as a blended family too. but it almost feels like a step backwards as i hate being on my own and not with him especially as we have our two babies but i also love the fact i have my security back for myself and my children. it’s all just a big mess

thanks for any comments

Sounds like he’s less bothered about your relationship than you are, and I see that he makes time to see you when he wants sex.

Yes. I've just (literally) done this. It's working for us. My kids are teens though.

@Notastalker how are you managing the time apart ? have you got set days you see each other ? (i’m finding it strange not being with him ) also have you arranged set days for your older ones to stay at each house.

@loulou0401 they go between the houses as it suits them. We don't have set days as his days off change and I work a mixture of days and evenings. I go to his usually as that was the house we lived in together. He very much sees my place as my space but his place as ours. I much prefer having my own space. I also get a break from teenage angst which makes me far calmer. It's early days but seems to be going ok so far. We haven't argued since I moved out.

He sounds selfish & you sound like a desperate mug.
If he loved you he wouldn’t behave like a single guy , pubbing it whilst the little woman looked after the kids & kept the bed warm for his return.
What distorted messages are you teaching your kids about dysfunctional relationships ?

Does he have the youngest two 50% of the time? If not then he's got it quite easy while you're being a full time single parent and he just drops in for a bit of nookie. And it must be financially draining and very uneconomic to run two houses, paying two lots of rent and bills?