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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

When the one you married isn't real (kinda lighthearted)

1 reply

Theotherone234 · 30/06/2024 09:05

I've put lighthearted because I'm not asking for advice, just opinions and experiences

We dated for 2 years before getting married. I thought I'd met someone like me, similar tastes and ambitions

Both 2nd marriages and both in our 40s

20 years later and everything he 'was' has gone. He's a different person.

He was outgoing, sociable, into music and travel, he was vibrant and adventurous.

But over the years I have learned that this was a veneer. I've learned that he was only acting and he wasn't really like this deep down.

When I asked him about it he said that in the beginning he went along with whatever I wanted to do so as not to lose me.

For a bit of context - I married a man who liked live music and loved going to gigs. At home we chose music over the TV. Now I have a husband who says he doesn't like music at all.

Is this very common? For someone to pretend they like something so you'd be more interested in them?

OP posts:
magnoliablooms · 30/06/2024 09:07

It's not uncommon for someone to change over 20 years but it is weird for him to have pretended to be someone else for 2 years.. I'd be weary

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