Thanks for the lovely stories ☺️.
One (negative) thought that went through my mind is that I am 55 - and most people in this thread met their significant other younger than that.
In hindsight I felt different when I was around 50 - looked different too even though I think I look ok now. But I don’t know if with each passing year the chances of meeting someone decreases even more?
I did some online dating just before the pandemic - and did go on 7 platonic dates with someone. Don’t think I could do online dating again though - and by all accounts it has got a lot worse.
What happens to me is that I plod along quite okay - mainly filling my life with work and my 3 dc who are late teens to early 20s. But then I will get what feels like a ridiculous crush on someone - and it opens up this horrible can of worms of longing and loneliness which is quite painful.
I started a new job 4 months ago - not many men where I work but I have managed to have a crush on the one person - and then get over it since he has a partner. I now have a crush on someone else 🙄 - who is married (I think) and who even if he wasn’t, would be wholly unsuitable. But I am at the stage that if we interact for any reason I get this dopamine high only to then crash painfully because the reality is that I am very much on my own.
I think I sustain myself via fantasies or use these passing feelings like crutches. The reality is that I work a lot, feel exhausted, and spend time with my dcs - and that is it. I am also quite shy and have had the one relationship only (my marriage) in my life so I just don’t know how insecure and kind of needy I might be if I did actually meet someone. Both attractive qualities not!
It would be nice to meet someone nice and spend time - do things, talk etc. Have a soft place to land and be theirs. But obviously the pool of available people is smaller at this age.
@Soitis83 I am really sorry about your Mum. My Dad also remarried, after my Mum died. He first got together with his new wife when he was about 68. In his case I wouldn’t say he is happier with his second wife (that must be painful I am sorry), but it was strange to see him kind of replacing my Mum. Strange but I am really glad that he has a companion. My sister found it harder. Also because of the speed with which it happened after my Mum’s death, but I think that that can be quite common and wasn’t a reflection of my parents’ relationship which was really good.