I have been in an unofficial, complicated relationship with a girl after I split up with my partner for 3+ years and its been ups and downs as she has had issues in the past with drugs, mental health and domestic abuse.
She has left the drugs in the past but continues to associate with “friends” who are not interested in working and spend the day smoking drugs, doing nothing with their lives.
Last year I went away for a weekend with my ex and the kids, I never told her as I knew she would blow it out of proportion and not understand I’m just trying to give my kids a holiday, my ex barely even speaks to me at the best of times.
When I came back she found out and went crazy, she caused a riot with my ex and went around telling everyone how bad I am. She knew that my ex would take it out on me via the kids and I asked her not to cause trouble as it affects the kids more than the adults.
She recently told me that right after this happened she invited her friend's son up and they had sex even though she “never wanted to do it”. She then admitted she had been having DM conversations with him for weeks before and she was “letting him down” gently as they were flirting and making the conversation sexual. She told me that he messaged her a week later for “round 2” and as a in return he would give her some drugs.
After explaining that flirting, sexting and not saying no is pretty much wanting to do it she said its all my fault as I went to a theme park for a weekend with someone who has no romantic feelings for me in any way.
She now wants me to forgive her and move on claiming she feels guilty and it was a mistake, in the same breath she said DM flirting is normal, it's just how guys are now and sexualising conversation is fine as long as nothing happens, I did point out, in this case, its exactly what happened.
Because of her past and mental health problems, I have always been forgiving and sympathetic to her, I’m lucky enough to have a good job, be financially well off and have a very positive outlook in general.
In reality, I feel she thought it was acceptable to hook up with an alcoholic drug dealer who valued her that much he basically sees her as a street worker who will give herself up for £20 of drugs.
I would love to hear the opinions of others who have been in a situation like this, I spoke to a close friend who feels that association alone would damage my reputation and that she is capable of anything, why would she ever be any different?