Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Needing space but impossible to get it

3 replies

hannahb33 · 28/06/2024 14:38

So I absolutely love my partner but am struggling at the moment. We have extremely busy lives (partner in the police, I home educate our daughter as mainstream didnt work (she is autistic with severe anxiety, eating disorder), I work part time and help look after my gran and grandad who stay 40 miles away. I'm also a teaching student at university and on my summer break)

My partner has hurt his back and has been signed off for 3 months. We live in a small flat with our daughter and two cats.

I'm really struggling with needing some time to myself. I'm used to him working a lot so we usually get a day or two together when he is off and go out hill walks or something outdoors. We have a really good relationship normally.

I'm finding myself getting really anxious and fed up but trying to hide it. I just feel so stuck as I can't even go to the shop without him wanting to come or just have any alone time. I almost feel I'm having to justify going to the shop. Of course he has hurt himself and so he has been told to rest but he can still do things and I feel he's became a bit depressed and is more deciding not to do anything. He gets up in the morning and plays his ps4 all day from 9 am - 10pm. My daughter is basically staying in her room all day and I am stuck in the bedroom as I don't want to watch him play 24/7. If I do say I'm going anywhere he gets a bit sad and literally wants to know what I'm doing all the time and I'm feeling so suffocated. I understand he's not feeling great but I just feel I'm doing everything constantly and it's affecting my own mental health. I do everything myself normally anyway but with him being here and STILL doing everything it's just worse. I have c-ptsd as it is and question if I'm on the spectrum as have a lot of similar traits to my daughter. I really do NEED space to function but it's impossible to get it. I do go out with him every day aswell and dropped him at his friends last week for a few hours but he was still texting that he missed me.

What do I do or how do I approach this as I don't want to upset him but I feel I'm pushing him away.

Any advice would be really appreciated.

OP posts:
leeverarch · 28/06/2024 14:48

Some tough love is required. Pick up your bag and keys and say "I'm just popping out to the shops, be back in about an hour, bye!".

And go. Immediately. Get out of there and just go. Turn your phone off.

Find a cafe and get yourself a drink and a cake or something. When you've finished, turn your phone back on, and text to say you'll be home shortly.

Mrsttcno1 · 28/06/2024 15:58

leeverarch · 28/06/2024 14:48

Some tough love is required. Pick up your bag and keys and say "I'm just popping out to the shops, be back in about an hour, bye!".

And go. Immediately. Get out of there and just go. Turn your phone off.

Find a cafe and get yourself a drink and a cake or something. When you've finished, turn your phone back on, and text to say you'll be home shortly.

Yep 100% this! Everybody needs alone time sometimes, it’s not an insult to their partner it’s just a part of life.

Take an hour and just go enjoy some peace!

hannahb33 · 29/06/2024 14:58

Thanks ladies! I've been feeling so guilty about it so it's nice to hear that it's okay 🙈

I've planned to go out next weekend with a friend and made plans to get back to the gym this week so feeling a bit more positive about the next few weeks 🤣 xx

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread