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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Abusive partner

3 replies

SarahM180 · 28/06/2024 08:55

I have just split with a man that in my eyes was abusive he denies a lot of it one min then when he realises he's lost me he admits some of it, I am bedbound with muscular dystrophy and when we would have disagreements he would get angry shout swear throw his phone at me had grabbed wrist on one occasion ripped headphones off my head and grabbed my phone out of my hand once repeatedly poked me in the back because I refused to talk to him whilst he was angry and swearing. When I asked him if he had done this to anyone else he said he's punched a wall before but hasn't actually thrown anything at anyone or grabbed them. What I can't figure out is why do this to me then he argued with other people and I am not argumentative I don't swear I try to remain calm and try to get him to remain calm but he resorts to anger and violence he said other women would argue with him so why didn't he get physical with them? I can only put it down to the fact I am bedbound unwell with muscular dystrophy I can't move away from him to another room or escape the abuse. What are others thoughts on why me and not others?

OP posts:
Bittenonce · 28/06/2024 09:21

Frustration about your situation, that he can't control, boiling over into anger?

yellowsmileyface · 28/06/2024 09:25

Could be one of two things. Firstly, he could just be lying or in denial about the extent of his abuse in previous relationships.

Secondly, abuse is progressive. Abusive men tend to ramp up the abuse in subsequent relationships. Once they've crossed one line with one woman, it becomes much easier to cross further lines with the next woman.

Please don't think it's you. It's him. I'm glad to hear you're out of this relationship now. Have you posted about him before? I remember the mention of muscular dystrophy in a previous thread.

SarahM180 · 28/06/2024 09:43

yellowsmileyface · 28/06/2024 09:25

Could be one of two things. Firstly, he could just be lying or in denial about the extent of his abuse in previous relationships.

Secondly, abuse is progressive. Abusive men tend to ramp up the abuse in subsequent relationships. Once they've crossed one line with one woman, it becomes much easier to cross further lines with the next woman.

Please don't think it's you. It's him. I'm glad to hear you're out of this relationship now. Have you posted about him before? I remember the mention of muscular dystrophy in a previous thread.

Hi, thanks for replying, yes I have posted previously about our relationship a couple of times on here

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