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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

This is a bad idea isn't it

22 replies

Theneverendingcycle · 27/06/2024 21:46

It's a bad idea to message your ex and start chatting after nearlly a year split up isn't it.....

When the split was due to a huge argument because he was breaking your trust boundaries with other women knowing he was (constantly) especially this 1 female friend...and then when you were heartbroken and trying to fix it and begging (embarrassed about this now) for him to come back and fix us and get through it he was blocking and unblocking you consistantly all the while sleeping with his ex girlfriend who he said was abusive crazy etc etc and you only found this out after you did rekindle for 2 weeks after 6 months of waiting by the ex calling you and telling you - he lied point blank to my face that he hadn't slept with anyone else since me and our split his words "I have no interest in anyone else I have been heartbroken"

Heartbroken and balls deep in his ex, whom he told the same story about me that he told me about her (the irony)

Been messaging for 3 days now, went over the break up stuff again now we are both not angry (why was he ever angry with me ffs he broke my trust boundaries) and he soon turned the conversation from feelings to sex - bear in mind his ex ex told me he mithered her for sex once they split up - and told me "he would love to spend time with me again, no expectations of the future who knows what could happen, but ideally it would be great if you didn't get pregnant 😂😂"

This IS a bad idea- isn't it? What the hell am I doing??

Why don't I trust my decision and gut that this is a shit decision to even message him let alone let him tell me he wants to have sex without expectations...

Please be kind I struggle to validate my own feelings and need your opinions

Think this has come off the back of me blocking a guy I had a date with after a shitty experience stirring up the good memories of my ex and my brain playing tricks on me!

Please be kind.

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 27/06/2024 21:53

Block and delete his number, he's no good

Bubblegum922 · 27/06/2024 21:56

Block, block , block. Or he’ll waste years of your life.

You won’t find the right man when you’re wasting time on the wrong one x

CryptoFascist · 27/06/2024 21:58

He sounds like an abusive narcissist.
These kinds of relationshits are always like yo-yos - what do you think his ex was doing? The exact same thing you are doing now.

Sookafatwan · 27/06/2024 21:58

If you want some sex then why not, but if its gonna cause you problems then no.

Horses7 · 27/06/2024 22:04

I’m saying this kindly …. DON’T DO IT!!

Theneverendingcycle · 27/06/2024 22:08

@Sookafatwan if the sex was half decent I'd be a total yes right now. However, the sex was awful, and I mean probs the worst I ever had kind of awful, nothing will be gained at my end if you get my jist

OP posts:
Theneverendingcycle · 27/06/2024 22:09

@CryptoFascist oh jeeze yes.... never thought of that stupidly... she found out about me when he put a pic of us at a spa on his socials after dating for 2 months once he had saw she viewed it he blocked her on everything upto that point they were working on there relationship in her mind.......

OP posts:
Theneverendingcycle · 27/06/2024 22:10

Thank you all and thank you for being kind.

I shouldn't be messaging him or even in contact with him at all...let alone letting him assume he's going to get sex from me....

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 27/06/2024 22:13

Stop being your own worst enemy. I mean really. Why are you going out of your way to be miserable?

BCBird · 27/06/2024 22:18

Know your worth

ProvincialLady2024 · 27/06/2024 22:20

It's a bad idea. You know it's a bad idea.

MsDogLady · 27/06/2024 23:09

@Theneverendingcycle, this guy is poison and any interaction with him is self-harm.

Catoo · 28/06/2024 00:54

Fade him out and block OP.

He’s still the enemy and sounds like he’s already gaslighting you about his not being angry anymore. I mean he can fuck off.

Nothing good will come of this. And you could end up having shit sex with him again.

It’s a no from me.

Opentooffers · 28/06/2024 01:07

Yes it's a very bad idea as it stirs it all up again and will set you back from a years worth of healing. Although you've done it already, never too late to re-block.
After blocking for a few months, it's good to delete their number, so then you can't easily get in touch even if tempted.

Tillybobbins · 28/06/2024 01:21

Make him history and be relieved.

Theneverendingcycle · 28/06/2024 07:04

Thank you everyone 💓

Your all so right...what's the actual point.. even if we did rekindled he's shown me he's capable of lying to my face and breaking boundaries over and over again....thats not the kind of relationship I want!!

OP posts:
Bittenonce · 28/06/2024 10:02

Yes, it's a bad idea. You've got to go 'no contact' to get him out of your head.

Iwantacupoftea · 28/06/2024 10:07

Another one here saying block and no contact. Move forward with your life instead of regurgitating some semi relationship that makes you feel crap. Do NOT engage with him, will end in tears - yours

Theneverendingcycle · 28/06/2024 17:38

Going to go no contact now he hasn't messaged me today and I haven't messaged him. In fact I'm most probably going to block him tonight.

Your all right and I don't know what the hell i was thinking

OP posts:
Bittenonce · 28/06/2024 19:31

Theneverendingcycle · 28/06/2024 17:38

Going to go no contact now he hasn't messaged me today and I haven't messaged him. In fact I'm most probably going to block him tonight.

Your all right and I don't know what the hell i was thinking

Block block block on every platform, do it now.
Then big drink

Theneverendingcycle · 29/06/2024 02:36

I'm on it.
I don't need to chatting to this man. I deffo don't need another shit sex session with this man. He's proved to me how easy it was for him to lie to my face, and to others...

OP posts:
Theneverendingcycle · 29/06/2024 23:34

Why can't I give it up.....

What the fuck is wrong with me

OP posts:
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