Am I being insecure?

[Lrb12]

Hi, I’m just after some advice to see if I’m over reacting. I’m 34M

My girlfriend 37F is a cleaner and a few weeks ago one of the husbands 44M messaged my girlfriend strongly hinting would she like to go out for a wine (just the 2 of them on a Friday) - this was while his wife was away with work so he was home alone.

A few months before that he messaged her secretly on facebook messenger (even though he doesn’t have Facebook) . I don’t know what was in this message .

She told me this recently and said she just totally forgot to tell me and it’s nothing. Am maybe I need to work on myself.

She told me not say anything to his wife - because she doesn’t want to make her feel bad.

Am I being insecure?

I don't think you are being insecure here, and at least she told you. However, if I was her I would no longer be working for this couple after the husband was completely innapropriate. She needs to find another cleaning job.

Why are you feeling insecure? You should be feeling absolutely furious that your wife is having to put up with some creepy man hitting on her when his wife's back is turned. My god, the cliche of a man thinking he can do what he likes with the cleaner.

I think it depends how you found out and how your GF is reacting.

If she has been open about this and has said she will not go, and is going to message him to put him straight that she isn't interested and is in a relationship then I think you need to move on and feel secure in your relationship.

If she is planning on going and / or will not send him a response politely putting the record straight then I would be more likely to feel insecure.

Ultimately when in a relationship we can not stop others messaging / talking to our partners, but when that chat makes it seem like they are crossing a boundary it is our control how we respond.