Feel like I've never found "my people"

[lavenderboux]

Just that really.
I've never had a real group of friends. I have made friendships over the years (education, workplace, hobbies) and I have about 3 people who I consider a true friend today, but I've never had a solid consistent bunch. Never had "the girls" or any kind of female tribe.
I've always eventually felt let down by previous friends as a result of being left out, lied to or walked over.
Feeling quite sad and lonely as I plan for my wedding and it's made me realise how lacking in friendships my life is. It is making me wonder if it's me/if I'm the issue.
I know it's quality over quantity, and I'm not really sure what I'm looking to get from this post, maybe to hear that it's possible to make some decent true friendships in adulthood and some tips of how to meet & make new friends?
I have a wonderful partner and a great family, but I do feel lonely outside of this :(

Same. Except my number of true friends (excluding DH) is 0.

I socialise occasionally with people. I used to have more "normal" friendships, where you do friendshipy things like go for dinner or drinks. But over the years those friends have drifted away and i realised they weren't ever really friends.

It used to really bother me that i didnt fit in to normal socialising circles. Didn't have a bunch of friends. Was always the last one remembered. But in the last year i've realised that it's fine. I'm happy with what I have. I've always found socialising uncomfortable, but did it because its what you're meant to do and enjoy. I struggled with it hugely knowing what was acceptable or right or expected. I've come to accept it's okay not to have people and to soend time alone. Now i enjoy time with my family and the odd acquaintance now and then. Otherwise I enjoy time solo.

I think a lot of ‘tribes’ are a moment in time. Looking from the outside in at many ‘best’ friendships that are flaunted in youth or during wedding events - sooo many faded into nothing.

I know a woman who had 7 bridesmaids and they would not stop proclaiming their love for each other at the time. Little by little the friends dropped off. She got divorced years ago and one of the most vocal bridesmaids still wishes her a happy wedding anniversary on Facebook!! The woman has clearly not kept in touch. I know someone else who was married around that same time - now she’s only friends with 2 of the women who went on her hen. She’s divorced too so will now have a very different bridal party/Hen for her next wedding.

In my late teen/ early 20's I noticed how my mum didn't really have any friends at all. She was busy working, raising her family but she didn't have any real friends to socialise with. Once my dad left her and us children grew up and flew the nest she totally blossomed. Now in her mid 70's she has so many friends she is constantly going for coffee, lunch, pilates class etc. She puts herself out there by joining knitting / gardening / reading classes etc. Accepts every invite, helps on committees etc.
It gives me hope.