any tips would help to mend the relationship, I am sure it’s common in many marriages.
it’s one of those moments after giving birth , DH becomes less caring to me - the mother. And it’s a big contrast in pregnancy when he showed tremendous emotional support. I predicted anyway during pregnancy of his unusually nice behaviour and will not continue after giving birth.
i am first time mum , son is 12 week old , after 5th week he returned to work and since then he even more not in tune on the childcare. Just criticising me not doing the right thing when he return from work and of which I spent way more time with the baby than him. I know the baby better than him.
it happened a couple of times that when I am in good mood (like rarely given the new born), he would like to tarnish my mood those days like lost temper for no reason what so ever. So I would became bad mood again, and he would then apologise and be nice afterwards. On a daily basis, he has the tendency just do the bare minimum in a relationship - he never ask how’s my day or how am I feeling. Even when I shared my daily things he was just on his phone listening. And if I raise that up I didn’t like he would just get angry walk away. He just like to play video games on the phone like non-stop. And giving out bloody negative energy like complaining he is fat and don’t like his body shape but at the same time he just lying down all day. When I made a good meal, he could have said I forced him to eat that’s why he is out of shape. And this is just one of many examples.
The trigger was really over the weekend, I was in good mood and being clingy and show affection. I said I miss you as he was away (even under the same roof) , he just like to shut himself in his room playing video game but said he is cleaning his room. He replied bluntly saying ‘I’ve got million things to do’
I felt heartache and didn’t talk to him rest of day and he realised he did wrong. Gone all lovely the next day etc. but why he had to be so rude until I can’t tolerate and reacted to it then he became lovely for short time.
We also no longer kiss or hug , he always said oh I got sore throat don’t get close or whatever . Always have an excuse. He used to not show PDA and now even no affection behind closed door. Pretty bizzare.
However, fundamentally he loves me and will do all the essentials needed for the households. Like fixing things, other bigger matter. He just don’t do chores like typical guy and don’t say anything sweet or caring on daily basis. On big days he always do sth like buy gifts. It’s like I can’t have it all. He has clear good and bads. But I think he can do better and got the feeling take me as granted which hurt.
Please help. How could we communicate in a productive way?