How do you not worry about what people think?

[WonderingAboutThings]

I went though a stage when it didn't matter to me what people thought because I get okay, but now it does. I want people to like me and I hate that I want it. I want not to want it!

Not sure what's changed other than life circumstances have kinda knocked me for six, but this place is rather paralysing and I want to change but I don't know how.

It feels like telling myself not to be scared of flying if I have a phobia. I'm not scared of flying but you know what I mean!

I went though a stage when it didn't matter to me what people thought because I get okay, but now it does. I want people to like me and I hate that I want it. I want not to want it!

I think you need to unpick this a bit. There's a bit difference between worrying about what people think as a general rule, and wanting people to like you. Who exactly are you thinking about when you worry about what people think -- the neighbours, random strangers, colleagues, your friends? And who do you want to like you?

The question you should be asking yourself about other people in a getting to know you way in general (assuming for the sake of argument that you're not actually evil, and given to tormenting passing strangers!) isn't 'Do they like me? What kind of impression am I making?' but 'Do I like them?'

That's the important one. Not everyone will like you, obviously, but desperately trying to people-please and being inoffensive to everyone just makes you invisible and overloookable. Be yourself. Not everyone will like you, but then again, you won't like everyone either. It's normal.

for me i try to get along with everyone so that numbers wise if some dont truly like me then ive still got other people to chat to etc