I broke up my with DP of 2 years in March. We got back together 5 weeks ago, agreeing to take it slowly. We lived together for the last 10 months of the relationship where I felt I was not a priority. We ended up living like roommates with separate lives. I was never included in his plans that involved couples and he would come to events with me, but was never happy about it.
I moved out and broke up. one reason it ended was he never included me in his life. We lived 2 separate life’s. He loved getting drunk at weekends and it wasn’t my thing. So he used to go out Fridays and we spent Saturday night Sunday doing things, until he decided to stay out till 5am lots and spook the next day. I was fed up with broken plans and being considered an option.
It was frustrating as all my friends have young kids so they need to plan things in advance and most of the things involved their kids. He is a bit older and all his friends have grown up kids. I felt he never prioritised me. He felt I had no friends and was boring as I would be happy sitting in house etc. I would see friends on the Friday but would be sober as I don’t like to drink.
We broke up I went NC and missed him but he contacted end of April and asked to speak. We had a massive discussion on what we needed to do to try again. We agreed to communicate better and try to involved each other in our lives. I said I felt hidden and we lived as FWB. He said he thought I wouldn’t get on with his friends as they are big drinkers and I am not, so always said I was busy - taking my choice away. So we agreed that he include on couples things and communicate better. We also agreed to take things slow and go back to dating again.
the weekend we got back together we had a longstanding weekend away booked before we split up. He said he didn’t cancel it so let’s go. We did and had a great time.
so I have some time off in a few weeks as it’s my birthday. I asked him if he could get any time off as there is an event on my birthday I would like to go to. He said he would ask but if he couldn’t maybe we could go away the weekend before or after. Great.
I am Mia having to chase him. He says it’s a struggle but is asking. Today I asked if he could get an answer today as friends have asked if I wanted to do something. Said probably not. I asked if we would be still free for a weekend away. He said he can’t as he has plans both Saturdays. One is a festival and the other is his friends annual day at the races for a friends birthday where all the couples go. I am not invited and I know they only booked tickets during the week. So it was booked after he said we could look at going away.
I am now really upset as he has prioritied a couples day out that he could have invited me to and a friends birthday. Last year we didn’t go as we had plans, but went the year previously. I asked if his friends know we are back together and he said not told them yet.
so I am upset he can’t take time off (it was short notice so shouldn’t be upset), upset he hadn’t told his friends, upset he booked a ticket for a couples event that I know if his friends knew we were together they would of invited me, but upset he hasn’t said to them.
so things haven’t changed have they? It’s his fun over us. My friends have said it is poor form but said that if I was dating one new, then I wouldn’t expect be invited or arrange a weekend away.
it’s limbo relationship but I really don’t feel included in his life. I communicated this and he said I am. It’s just he got invited alone and not as a couple.