Dating & divorce

[Underscore83]

Hey.
I've been dating a lovely man for the past 3 months, he's someone I've met naturally just got to know in passing where I live (not dating site)
I'm divorced and he is going through one. He's been separated for almost a year.
He's quite quiet and guarded with his feelings which is fine, it's nice after my last love bombing relationship. I do like him, not in love, we see each other around our parental responsibilities 2/3 times a week
But I feel I wanna know how he feels without putting the pressure on him...I get the jist he's into me and he's great while we're together but when we're not it's like texting an uninterested sibling!
We're both in our 40s...is it possible to get him to open up without freaking him out?
At the very start we both said we weren't after a "relationship" but I feel like we are in one without the official talk
Why does it feel harder in your 40s! Lol 😂

does this man’s name start with P by any chance

No lol

Has he always been like this in text comm

or recent development?

when you see each other 2-3x s week (which is a lot of both have children and work) what do you do?

No he's always been the same and has said he's rubbish with emotions and expressing them

We both have our kids 50/50 and we always seem to have the same time free, sometimes we cook together, out for meals, walks etc

T maybe?

I could have written this post myself 😂
only mine is 49, separated 20 years ago and with A few long string of failed relationships under his belt (Red flags waving at me!)

Hi OP. What is it specifically you’re looking for from him OP? What would you like to change in terms of his specific behaviour? If you can work that out you may be able to say to him ‘I’d prefer if you did x’. You say you’re not in love with him but also seem to be wanting something more. So work out what that ‘more’ is but how it translates into behaviour. Then you may be more easily able to see if this relationship is ever going to give you that.

If he said he wanted no strings, don't get carried away. Doubtful he's changed his mind, you're getting ahead of yourself. Tread carefully here, he's told you that's what he was looking for, casual, emotionless. And that's what he's delivering. If you're catching feelings you need to tell him and find out what he's thinking, then move on before you get hurt if he's thinking what I'm thinking!

You're absolutely right, I do have feelings and I worry if I open up and tell him how I feel he'll run a mile, and I know if I remain quiet and develop feelings further I'm gonna get hurt more aaaahh

so he’s always been like this and you e got this far
why not just carry on enjoying it is what it is
you both have kids, jobs, loads of responsibilities… just enjoy it

Accept some people don’t like to text. I don’t. It’s a comms method for arrangements not feelings.
Secondly some people don’t externalise stuff much, so watch their actions. My partner rarely tells me how they feel about me. But they do what they say they’re going to do when they’re going do it without fail. And they listen to me, understand and act accordingly to support / help me.

In my book, that’s good enough. Talk is cheap, actions speak louder than words etc.

you started a thread last month about a school dad who were attracted to and was in “a situationship” with

last month

porkies?

No porkies being told keyboard warrior!!

And yes the same person.
If u have nothing nice to contribute don't post...

so not 3 months? a few weeks?