my sister has always been a really tricky character. To cut a very long story short she has fallen out with pretty much everyone in our family.
She had a huge row with my other sibling at christmas which created so much drama for our whole family and put a real cloud over everyones celebrations.
More recently she has fallen out with her daughter who left her house and moved in with our mum (her gran) and once again the drama has reared its head. She is very angry with our mum for taking her daughter in so they have fallen out and I have been stuck in the middle of all of it, she rings me to bitch about people and will frequently make really nasty comments about our family and wants me to join in with her. She can also can be exceptionally critical of me when I am not saying what she wants me to say.
I was already struggling with my mental health, so to have her calling constantly and moaning and being so horrible about people finished me off. So I took a step back from her as I just couldn't take any more of the drama. She called me recently and made a comment that she never hears from me anymore, so I told her that I was really struggling with my mental health at the moment. her response was "Yes well we are all having a tough time"
I admit I have made a rod for my own back. I am crap at standing up to her but she made no attempt to check if I was ok or if there was anything in particular causing me problems. She just wants to discuss her own problems.
Here is where the tricky situation comes into it. Our mums birthday is coming up and we are arranging a nice meal. We were discussing it this evening. Certain family members don't feel comfortable with her attending but said they would suck it up for our mums Birthday. However if we invite her there is a good chance there will be a very awkward atmosphere and that she might cause a scene. Equally I don't feel right organising something and not inviting. It feels wrong being secretive about it.
As I said I am really struggling with my mental health at the moment so I just don't know what to do for the best. No one does. The sister in question has a child who still lives at home and obviously my mum would like her at the meal as she is her grandchild but we can hardly invite her child and not her.....or can we? I just don't know up from down at the moment.
It was my sons birthday last week, my sister popped round to drop off a card/gift and asked of our plans. When she found out we were going out to the cinema with my other sister she walked out and left. Clearly annoyed that she hadn't been invited. So I know she will be angry with me - I guess I am scared of her and her reactions.
On one hand I think you can't go around treating everyone like crap and expect them to keep taking it but I don't think she has the self awareness to see how she has upset people. I think she feels aggrieved by every altercation she has had with each family member and feels like she is the victim in each situation.