Changing DC surname after separation?

[janiejonstone]

Wondered whether anyone had changed their DC's surname after separation/divorce? DH and I are in the process of separating. It's not my decision and the whole thing has been awful, including that he's left it to me to organise all of it and I've got a first meeting with a solicitor next week. My DD (age 6) has her dad's surname (I didn't change my name when we got married). Her first and middle names have links to my side of the family, so it's always felt like a good balance. But now I'm facing the prospect of being a single parent I've had a sudden urge to add in my surname, I guess so that she and I feel more like a stable unit together. It also occurred to me that it might make travelling easier if my surname is on her passport. Has anyone done this? And if so did you hyphenate or just add it in as an additional name?

But not being together changes things. Of course it does.

It's caused no problems at all. Incidentally, other members of my extended family, now in their 20s, have had 2 surnames since birth ( not double-barrelled) and have never had any issues with that at all, they've all been through school, university, work etc and it just hasn't ever been a problem.

That's good to know! We're known informally to friends/family as the Smith-Joneses (names changed!) and my daughter often refers to herself using both names. My mum's surname was hyphenated and complicated (involved other punctuation too) which has always put me off double barrelled so I see two names as maybe being simpler. I was imagining that it might give DS some options later about using both or just one. But I don't feel very strongly about it.

Because?

I didn't change DS name but did add in my maiden surname as his middle name. Needed his Dads permission.

It would only make travelling easier if his name is removed entirely.

I doubt he'd agree to that though, or do you think he would?

It's not petty at all, but it is a personal choice. Some women keep their married name after divorce, some revert, some never changed it in the first place. Personally I reverted on the day of my separation. I never had any issues with having a different name to my DC, travelling or otherwise. At 13 my DC asked to double barrel their name and so Ex agreed because it had come from them. This felt like the easiest way to do it rather than try to change it whilst the divorce was happening, where it can be upsetting for a young DC and you can be accused of things like being petty. As an aside, my DC now just use my surname, their choice as they are adults now.

Dear god . Why can't people read!
OP does not want to remove existing surname, she wants to add another.
And the stbxh is in agreement!
OP is asking about how to style the change , either hyphenated or not .
Glad you got a helpful response in the end OP

It gives them a thrill to be nasty, or maybe they have poor reading comprehension.Ignore them.