Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Those who stayed after cheated

32 replies

TaupeLeader · 23/06/2024 17:33

Want to hear personal experiences as opposed to opinions. Boyfriend added a few random girls and initiated conversations and whilst nothing sexual was exchanged there was clearly an undertone to it. He hid it from me too. We were already going through rocky patch and this really hit the nail on the head so we’ve pretty much been broken up past 2 weeks. Want to hear stories if anyones been through similar or worse and came out stronger the other end as I have so many doubts. Been together almost 7 years.

OP posts:
Danbury · 25/06/2024 09:13

I agree with those who say that when a person truly loves their partner, they will not cheat behind their back. When a person stays in a relationship after being cheated on, that person has to live with the realization that their partner does not truly love them, even if they say they do. The relationship can still work of course but I tend to think that the person who thought they had been with a person who truly loved them will always perhaps be more open to the possibility that there may be someone else for them. Being cheated on kills true love stone dead.

Bittenonce · 25/06/2024 09:45

When I was going through a rocky patch, she cheated. I could forgive this (never thought I could have done) - but then she messed my head by constant lying (should never have believed her, but guess I wanted it to be true) and doing it again.
So yes, you can forgive and move on, but only if there's trust, respect, openness.
If you've got these, you can make it work. If you haven't, it's over.

EarthSight · 25/06/2024 09:49

TaupeLeader · 23/06/2024 17:33

Want to hear personal experiences as opposed to opinions. Boyfriend added a few random girls and initiated conversations and whilst nothing sexual was exchanged there was clearly an undertone to it. He hid it from me too. We were already going through rocky patch and this really hit the nail on the head so we’ve pretty much been broken up past 2 weeks. Want to hear stories if anyones been through similar or worse and came out stronger the other end as I have so many doubts. Been together almost 7 years.

Once the trust has gone, it doesn't seem to come back easily, if at all. It just eats away at you, and becomes like poison to the relationship.

DaisyChainsandSunnyDays · 25/06/2024 10:26

After emotional affairs and then cheating when my baby was 5 months old I forced dh to go to therapy, seemed to work? to buried it all inside and carried on.. we got married had more children
I have never forgotten and deep down I will never forgive
I love my children but I do regret staying then. Leaving now is so much more complicated.
you are young and free, consider your situation carefully before you get sucked in so deep that leaving is a real battle.

OrlandointheWilderness · 25/06/2024 11:36

PinkLemonade555 · 24/06/2024 08:13

If someone truly loves you, they don’t cheat. Genuine, deep, spiritual love for someone makes it absolutely impossible for you to hurt someone in this way. It would rip your own soul apart.

What most people think is love is actually attachment. They might think it’s love. They might say it’s love. But it’s conditional. They love their home life, the familiarity, the comfort, the convenience, the image, how you make them feel, the companionship. But it is not actual love. Sorry but no one will ever convince me otherwise. Which is why I could never stay with someone who did that to me. It drives people mad trying to get their head around two completely opposing ideas… he ‘loves’ me, yet he hurt, betrayed, and disrespected me in the worst possible way… because it doesn’t make sense, it’s impossible for it to.

It depends what kind of love and relationship you want, at the end of the day. And how far you are able to maintain that level of cognitive dissonance.

Edited

Completely agree with this.

Wisenotboring · 29/06/2024 21:29

I forgave and stayed but it was broken. He subsequently cheated and left again anyway. You are worth so much more and have no marriage or children to tie you. Walk away and know you can build something wonderful with someone who deserves you.

Theneverendingcycle · 29/06/2024 23:43

Run, don't walk away. This will destroy you inside

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread