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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Mother in law

1 reply

Gratefulforlife66 · 23/06/2024 16:17

been married to husband for 30 years, two grown up children. I’ve always worked, brought up the children to become decent, happy, well balanced adults. Good relationship with husband, the problem is his mum. She’s overbearing, rude, opinionated, selfish. She regularly insults me and critisises my home, orders everyone around, then questions you on how you were doing the task. the worst thing, she has been dismissive and rude to our eldest daughter, who can’t think what she’s done to upset her grandma. I’ve told her to ignore grandma as grandma will be the one to miss out in the long run. I long ago realised I needed to distance myself from my MIL which I have done, and cope better in the occasions when I HAVE to see her, but as she’s now elderly, she’s putting on my retired husband so much(he’s early 60s) and he’s struggling to keep up with her demand and expectation of him so occasionally I help out, this is to support HIM, not HER.
I want to know, should I confront her rudeness and challenge her nastiness. It’d make life hard for my husband, he and his sibling have lived whole lives with her controlling behaviours and find it hard to confront.
thanks in advance x

OP posts:
Tracey123097 · 23/06/2024 21:18

Hi op. I think at this point it's probably too late to change her. If she was going to get some home truths it should have been done years ago and by your hubby not you. Your spot on with your daughter to tell her it's her granny's loss, ive told my own daughter the same thing and these kids will get to a point where they don't actually care anymore because they will have their own lives and 'granny' will be moaning that no one cares. If I were you I'd keep your contact as low as you can, preserve your own mental health and only do what you need to for your hubby's sake which is lovely of you and reinforce good messages to your husband, if her demands are too much , he needs to speak up, even if that's hard!

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