Best ways to de escalate arguments

[Flyhigher]

Can anyone give advice on best ways to de escalate arguments.

I've tried talking back and trying to reason.
Saying sorry.
Saying I don't want to argue.
Saying can we find a compromise.

When people dig in with something and it hurts you how do you get them to stop.

Having a fight now with sister.

She's very angry.

We are dealing with inheritance and she wants to control it all. Which is ok to a point. But at times she goes too far.

There have been some misunderstandings.

She's in a very stressful situation for over a year now. I've tried to be very understanding but now I feel a bit bullied.

How do people de escalate arguments?

4 point statements:

I understand / agree with...
However the downside is....
This is how it makes me feel
How about this, or that, as a way forward

Death, inheritance, moving from the old family system to negotiate a new one can be very stressful.

I would guess your sister's need for control is tied up with grief and loss. Seek mediation.

Yes to both.
The old family system is broken.
It's awful.
Well we didn't really have one. My parents lived abroad.
Now my mum is back here.
And she's very difficult.

I understand the need for control.
But I need some too. I need some space.

How about 'Wow this is such a stressful thing isn't it? I just wanted to remind you that I absolutely adore you sister' and give her a hug (obviously not when she's raging. But before things escalate).

'Also, how about we take a trip to the cinema/spa/beach this weekend and just don't talk about the big things for that day?'

You make a point of having time together that is just easy and fun. So it doesn't feel like an argument every time you meet.

Thank you.
It's all a bit bleak right now. But thank you.

This is great!