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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

What was the deal maker? How do you know he's the one?

20 replies

wheresmyAga · 09/04/2008 09:06

As a single mum currently struggling (and not always succeeding to keep everything sweet (work, kids, house and new relationship with a lovely man), I'm dying to know: at what point/how did you know your man was the one for you, for ever? What clinched it for you?

OP posts:

MrsTittleMouse · 09/04/2008 09:15

He kissed me and was so incredible passionate I was hooked. We've been married 5 years now.

BetteNoir · 09/04/2008 09:17

I had to have four impacted wisdom teeth removed in hospital, and I had been seeing DH for about four months.

He looked after me with such care and attention, and never once made reference to the fact that I looked like a hamster that had gone six round with Mike Tyson.

He phoned my family to tell them how I was getting on, because I couldn't speak very well.

He passed the phone to me, and my grandmother said "this is the man for you, don't let him get away!"

And I didn't.

We have been married for 13 years next week.

(Oh, and he's shit hot in bed! )

Minum · 09/04/2008 09:18

The G&T he had waiting for me when I joined him in the pub after work - happily married for 15 years now.

jesuswhatnext · 09/04/2008 09:19

my dd told me that she wanted him for 'daddy'

i was thrilled as i love him very much and REALLY wanted him for dh!!

jesuswhatnext · 09/04/2008 09:20

btw - together for 14 years, married for 8 of them

hecate · 09/04/2008 09:21

I felt like he'd always been there. From the day I met him, it seemed he'd always been in my life. That sounds odd, I know, but it was a feeling of such comfortableness - I bet that's not even a word - like 2 bits slotting together.

Anyone who read that last sentence and sniggered .. GO TO YOUR ROOM!

Original poster

wheresmyAga · 09/04/2008 09:22

BetteNoir, your story. One of the things that I love about my new man is that I know if anything awful happened to me - eg breast cancer, am crossing fingers and toes obviously ? he would look after me wonderfully well.
MrsTittleMouse: .

Anyone else out there?

OP posts:

BetteNoir · 09/04/2008 09:23

frogs · 09/04/2008 09:24

I was introduced to him at a friend's house when we were at university. He was eating a yoghurt at the time. We said hello, as you do, and I thought, "I'll have that one, please" (the bloke, not the yoghurt).

Twenty years and three children later, I've had no cause to regret my decision. He's spent the last three weeks doing his own job as well all the housework and childcare as I've been in hospital with a horribly broken leg, and am still useless for anything other than sitting on the sofa watching DVDs.

I think a trial run of illness, as Bette suggests, is always good to sort the sheep from the goats.

Original poster

wheresmyAga · 09/04/2008 09:30

Mmm? flu? Feeling a bit scratchy in the throat region?

Anyone out there who's managed to make it work with a new partner after having kids? How does that pan out? It's sooooo tricky, even with an extremely considerate, caring guy.

OP posts:

Anna8888 · 09/04/2008 09:32

I knew almost immediately.

I intellectually tried to stop the feeling, but it was impossible

mmelody · 09/04/2008 09:41

I just knew.. DP is 10 years younger than me and we met via online dating.. he was such a gent and so polite and good mannered that it was really refreshing after being emotionally battered in a 10 year marriage.

He was attentive, interested and damn good in bed... he NEVER EVER (and still hasn't) mentioned the age difference.. we have a DS aged 9 months and have been together for 4 years... my DD 12 thinks he is fab. I KNEW he was the one within a couple of weeks,

soopermum1 · 09/04/2008 09:46

when he took his jumper off and his t shirt rode up a bit, so i got a 'lil flash. and in those days he was such a gent, opening doors etc

ranting · 09/04/2008 09:50

It was a bit weird because I wasn't looking for anyone, was quite happy on my own, just me and ds. Quite fancied my now dh so we went out together a couple of times and we were driving through the old kent road one day and chatting and laughing, when all of a sudden I thought 'this is the man who I'm going to spend the rest of my life with'. Just like that, I knew. And I am not the type of woman who believes in fate or anything like that, so it was a bit of a shock but, I knew. Think it must be timing or something.

staryeyed · 09/04/2008 10:25

I knew from a photo I saw of DP holding his baby nephew. He had such a look of love in his eyes I just knew he would make such a great Dad and he has.

Original poster

wheresmyAga · 09/04/2008 17:11

Thanks everyone. I'll have a think about what you've said.

OP posts:

cyteen · 09/04/2008 21:21

So many things!

I didn't realise everything that was missing from my dying-the-death relationship with (soon to be ex) boyfriend, until I realised how more more fun and intellectual stimulation I got from spending time with this friend, which was what DP was at the time.
he found my singing voice and made me believe I could use it.
he made the 36 bus stop on Camberwell Church Street at 1am seem impossibly magical and romantic, when he kissed me for the first time and made me dizzy.
he still fell in love with me even though I spent the first few months of our relationship in a weepy mess (was ending previous relationship and being crap about it).
he inspires total trust AND wild, lusty passion.
he's stood with me through the worst experience of my life, never questioned anything, even when it meant having to spend a week in a hospital room watching someone die.

We've been together nearly seven years and I can still think of nothing more enjoyable than spending every day with him

(you can all rush off to be sick now )

LilyMunster · 09/04/2008 21:23

he has (and now we have) an Aga.... nuff said

ranting · 09/04/2008 21:32

. No, seriously that is the stuff of solidity, like Cyteen says.
Fwiw, I already had a child when I met my now dh and I can honestly say it never crossed my mind that it would be a possible problem, he knew ds was part of the deal when we met and as I never tried to hide the fact I was a single mother, I guess I just assumed he wouldn't think that a problem. Don't know whether that was naivety on my part but, it's turned out pretty good, we've been together for coming up 10 years and married for 4.

PinkTulips · 09/04/2008 21:42

the first time we had sex i was a tad intoxicated, he stopped and asked me was i sure i wanted to do this as he didn't want to take advantage

then a few weeks later when i left the country to work abroad he cried on the phone (have never seen him cry for anything else in 6 years) and told me he loved me and couldn't live without me.

i came home the next flight i could get and we've been together ever since

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