Someone talk some sense into me

[IamaRevenant]

I've been with my husband for six years. During that time he's had an affair and is a major alcoholic with a pt job (hes never worked ft - we don't have any kids, he just refuses). I'm the breadwinner which is fine but I just feel I get nothing back at all. It'd be different if he was actually nice

People please tell me to leave! He threatens to self harm which makes me feel like shit but is that my responsibility?

Leave. Please. You are worth more in life than a man that treats you with such disrespect. Affairs? Did he own up or found out? And what is his reason for not full time work?

Hand hold is always here and I'm sure others will say the same.

And no. Threats of self harm are just threats. If he wanted to he would do it anyway. Its a power thing to have over you.

Know your worth. Single life will be better.

To be on the safe side, call the authorities and tell them he is threatening suicide. Being taken away by the cops should cure him of using that manipulative tactic. It is a common trick people use to try to stop a partner from leaving. After you've done your due diligence there, leave.

The only thing keeping you in that hell is you. Why are you doing this to yourself?

When you do finally pull the trigger and get settled somewhere on your own in blissful freedom...you will kick yourself for every day you spent dithering over this absolute no-brainer. And you will find it hard to believe that you ever tied yourself up in knots over some pouting plonker threatening to hurt himself. Come ON, woman! Chin up, tits out, get on with it.

You don’t have a partner, and nor do you have a friend. You deserve much better than this - get rid and go and find yourself some happiness x

Yes please leave him.
You are lucky you have no kids with him so it should be more straight forward.

Ignore the threats to self harm.

You need to be aware that these sorts of threats are manipulative to stop you leaving.

Just react with a simple, “whatever !”

He is not your responsibility and you are not responsible for his actions.

Look up The Grey Rock Technique

How did you end up with him in the first place?

I know this. It's just so embarrassing as in every other aspect of my life I'm pretty assertive

Don't overthink the leaving and how it will go.

Sort out where you're going, paying for it and once that's sorted just pack you bags and go.

I left a long term boyfriend by just packing up my clothes one night when he was at the pub again. (I had told him weeks previously I would leave eventually) and split with the father of my kids by changing the locks while he was at the pub. (Recurring theme here)

You don't owe him an explanation, just make a plan and go.

You have no children with him. He’s not ever going to enrich your life. Why are you still with him? I don’t mean that in a nasty way, I’m simply wondering what it is you see in him and why you keep putting up with his 💩. You deserve better 🌺