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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Manopause? Angry husband

28 replies

WinterWonder · 22/06/2024 20:57

The first time I wrote this I said ‘we’ are in a cycle of falling out, but it just isn’t true- my OH falls out with me over tiny inconsequential things, and then we hardly speak and just tolerate each other for days or weeks. Last week he wanted me to show him a certain film. During the film at an important point he was distracted & I drew his attention to what he was missing- that was it. Silence/minimal contact for days, no affection at all. He always refuses to talk about it when this happens, & trying to talk makes him really angry. I much prefer to talk about my problems, but he never will. I feel miserable when he is like this, as when he isn’t like this he is extremely affectionate.
it feels like it is just more and more frequent, and when he is ok I’m just waiting for whatever it is that blows him up again. He is in his early 40’s and we’ve been married over 20years- is this normal? What should I do to snap him out of it?

OP posts:
DirtyCheeseBurger · 23/06/2024 22:59

Could he have depression or low mood?
Those sorts of changes chime with my experience of DHs depression including the absolute refusal to discuss it.

PrincessMee · 24/06/2024 00:18

I went through a spell thinking like this about my ex husband. It turns out he was a non diagnosed diabetic and he was also having an affair.

Didsomeonesaydogs · 24/06/2024 06:55

2 years ago, I could have written your posts almost word for word @WinterWonder
It’s uncanny how similar what you have written was my lived experience.

I also thought my husband could never have an affair.

By the time I had it confirmed, it had been going on for four years.

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