Embarrassed when my boyfriend has had a drink

[Thepanicyears]

I met my boyfriend when he was 21 and at the time he was a typical young lad who went out a few times a month and got very drunk. My problem is when he drinks he always seems to take it too far. You know that embarrassing drunk who’s chatting shit to people, stumbling around, thinking he’s funny when he isn’t. I am really sick of it and find it so embarrassing. I probably only drink a few times a year personally and not to the point of embarrassing myself. It’s really giving me the ick. At a wedding recently I was trying to avoid him after he’d stood on my foot, spilt a drink and made an unfunny joke in reference to the grooms ex etc. Do I jump ship?

This was my Dad, I haven't spoken to him for years.

Jump ship.

This user has highlighted exactly your future if you chose to stay. Believe me. This was my life.
With dp from 18 until late 30s. Put up with his drinking and lived exactly what you are dealing with only he WAS an aggressive drunk as well. Fighting, drink driving, trash the house once or twice, verbally aggressive towards me and the next day he'd expect you to forget everything and apologise until the next binge! I ended up with ptsd. I cant stand the smell of vodka, my nerves give way when I used to see him drinking it because I knew what was going to happen and prayed it wouldn't. It was embarrassing I ended up not wanting to go to events because of it and because I feared him when he drank too much, not that he would beat me but just absolutely riddled with anxiety. We are no longer together and that's and whole other story. He's now hitting 40 and still does it with his new girlfriends. But for a very long time I lived exactly what @Plantheads5 wrote. Its not worth it. You're still young at 26. I wish I'd walked at 26 and lived my 20s properly than this!

This.
I had a friend that I ended up seeing just her and I because her husband got so drunk and obnoxious that we could never bear to do anything as a couple with them.
Ten years later she has divorced him because he never did get it under control. It increased and I creased.

time to call it a day. Things wont change

Tell him to get a grip of his drinking or your off, give it a couple of months and his reaction will tell you everything you need to know…

I think once you are asking yourself should I end this you shouldn’t waste your time and just move on

he wont change and you will just become more resentful and end up really disliking him and that will just be miserable

i had a binge drinking ex it was no fun going out

Been there myself and put up with it for years.
In the end it contributed to the end of our marriage.
I would say at your age to walk away from this if he isn't bothered by it and doesn't want to change.
I could list the ridiculous situations my exH got into over the years. And it's so much worse when kids come along.
It was an enormous red flag that I ignored and excused which I later regretted so don't make that mistake.

If he is minded to change then it's worth considering if it's because of a problem with social anxiety. It was for my ex and he has in much later life managed to recognise that and deal with it. Too late for us but it wasn't our only issue.
If this rings bells for you both then counselling would be something for him to consider.

Over time, these one night binges could become lost weekends that involve drugs. All risk taking behaviour without boundaries or consideration for how behaviour affects others. I know someone similar who couldn't get a girlfriend to stick in his 20's. They must have seen his behaviour and thought I need to protect myself and moved on. Now in his forties he had a binge weekend and ended up in A and E. He was slurring his words, drunk and was sent away. Turned out he'd had a stroke. In company he now finds it hard to follow conversations, create a coherent sentence and his girlfriend is teaching him how to read again. Did you say he got very drunk at a wedding OP? I'm sorry x

Once a month is regular. Too much. I’d walk away and throw this one back.

If he won't change you need to get out.
Another one talking from experience, met as 20 year olds, his binge drinking was "fun" in those days, but as he got older still never knew when to stop. Not often but every occasion was too far, embarrassing.
After about 8 years he became dependent. Drugs next. Abuse shortly after.
My therapist helped me realise that even the early days where I asked him to get it under control for weddings etc... he ignored me. So disrespecting my needs and wishes. Alcohol and himself came first all that time long before the addiction and abuse.

If you find him embarrassing now, just wait a few more years in. On second thoughts, don't wait. LTB now!

Run don't walk...
I stayed, had DC and then it really escalated. IME they don't continue to be a happy drunk & once a month gradually creeps up to constant. I suffered all kinds of abuse before finally walking away. He has continued to spiral down and is now no contact with DC.
Please choose a better life for you 🙏

I stayed, married, had children. He got worse and worse and it took me an embarrassingly long time to divorce him. I wish I'd left much sooner. Don't be me (although I'm happy now!)

This is one of the reasons I divorced my ex.
Argumentative when drunk, drank every day, drunk drove and lost his lisence and his car as got loans out on it, alienated his kids, alienated my kids, verbally abusive and would destroy things in the moment.
I'm much much happier now.

Run away as fast as you can. Life is hard enough with a wonderful supportive partner.

I think (and I have thought about this) that you know the answer OP. It won't get better, it will only get worse. So run away.