This is a bit of a ramble but I don’t know what to do.
My husband started taking anxiety medication not long after we had our first child so around 7 years ago. There has been times where he hasn’t been taking them and I can tell within a week or so.
I am by no means perfect and can be moody etc but he completely over reacts when he’s not on them. Lashes out and says horrible things so I’m now able to tell when he’s off the medication. There was a period when he has been drinking where he would be horrible randomly when nothing had happened then he wouldn’t remember (or so he says) this was less than a year ago and he spoke to his doctor and he put the medication dose up. Iv noticed a few mood swings recently and then after looking realised he had none of his tablets lying around anywhere. Turns out he hasn’t taken them in 6 weeks without speaking to his doctor. He seems to constantly try come off them, I get why he wouldn’t want to be on them but I do think they help him. Now thinking back he’s been overreacting about things and dragging silly iggles out til it even got to the stage I was convinced he was going to leave me. Also being short with our children which is not like him. After speaking it out he made it clear that he dosnt want to separate etc. I’m just over 3 months pregnant so I know the last while has not been easy on him but I feel like he should be more supportive and be able to suck some things up considering Iv had my head down a loo for 6 weeks straight while still working and caring for out child and it’s not been the easiest times with a bleed and a previous miscarriage so I really haven’t been myself. He’s been complaining about lack of sex since we found out I’m pregnant and that I talk about being tired all the time and my symptoms. I mean I know it wouldn’t be a bit draining but how does he think I feel?
Aside from this any argument or disagreement is always him blaming me for everything and any things he says is my fault. I never really feel like I have him to lean on when I need support. I’m usually the more positive and let’s get stuff done one and he’s more the worried but I’m starting to get sick of it and feeling like would we be better apart?
I love him to bits and I feel like he does deep down but I’m starting to feel like I deserve better.
Then I doubt myself and think am I the problem and am I making his miserable?