Dating dilemma

[Bassistandy]

Hi. I’m a 38 year old man, dad to a 13 year old. I have my son almost 50/50 with my ex (all amicable and no drama).

Im having issues with dating and I’m getting really disheartened with what I’m
coming up against.

Im at a stage in life where Im earning really good money and I live a very comfortable life - all that’s missing is someone to share it with.

Im very active and I travel a lot (4 holidays a year, city breaks and weekends away) but what I’m finding with dating is that all women I’m dating have absolutely no free time or can only find a few hours here and there. I’d love someone who could match my sort of lifestyle but so far, no luck at all.

I get that majority of women my age (and a bit younger) will have children but I’m starting to feel like I’ll be forever alone.

Does anyone else have this issue or shall I wait until I’m older where women my age will be empty nesters and possibly more available?

It's not easy with kids. Chances are almost all women youre matching with will have kids, may see their dads alternate weekends if youre lucky but then how would that fit your 50/50 schedule. It's a royal PITA.

I guess mid thirties is probably busiest stage of life with kids and career for most people. How come you have so much free time, even when I was dating in my late 20s in the early days I would only have a few hours a week spare for any chap I didn’t really know yet.

Annual leave combined with rest days. I work long shifts so technically I spend more days off over the year.

Depends on the area, but I know many women without kids around your age/ older. Some of them would probably date a man with an older child, but if I were you I'd be upfront in the profile about the lifestyle you want to have. Unless you're looking for a woman with kids specifically.

But if you have unusual working patterns you can’t expect people to drop everything they’re doing to entertain you. Maybe you need to take up a hobby to keep yourself busy, are your expectations too high?
personally I wouldn’t have dated a man with kids when I was in my early 30s. You say you want to meet someone who matches your lifestyle, active, travel, financially secure? These sort of women are going to be busy people.
datings tough and can be disheartening, maybe you should take a break for a few months and focus on other priorities- friendships, hobbies, kids. Then approach is again with a fresh mindset

What @Notstopoil said is good advice. I think you need to reduce the expectations. To match your lifestyle the woman will have to like travelling, be child free (so she can have free time) and financially comfortable enoughbto travel. Such women are very rare and you won't be their first choice, since you already have a child.

Its all about trying to synchronise schedules and the chances of that are slim, assuming you dont want to bring each others kids along. Plus anyone of that age who doesnt already have kids either doesnt want them in their life or wants to create some!

If you put on your profile that you like travel and do lots of weekends and holidays abroad, most female parents would be put off by that. Likely after a split they are less financially comfortable so could not keep up, and leaving the DC's multiple times a year to travel would not be practical either. Yes it's nice that you can, but the reality is most single parents can't.

Have you considered dating women older than you, who may have the freedom and financial status to match your lifestyle?

Agree. What's on your profile? If you have put the words. ' no drama' and that you want to meet someone for adventures and fun, then that's your problem.