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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Help me figure this out

6 replies

Nomad14 · 21/06/2024 21:25

I’ve been in a long distance relationship for 3yrs. My bf is from a city 3.5hrs away, but is a lodger Mon-Fri 1.5hrs away. He goes back to his parents on a Friday night to see his DC Sat-Sun. We see each other once a week and have the same day off in the week and he stays over that night.
The last time he was here, he tried it on when he arrived, but we were due to go somewhere so didn’t have sex. I noticed that he was quiet and distant and kept asking him what was wrong, what can I do to make him happy, what would he like to do etc and was very patient and affectionate with him. I was on my phone a lot because my sister just had a baby and was sending photos and my mum wasn’t well so there were a lot of texts going around the family, ( also he wasn’t engaging with me). He was supposed to have stayed over, but while we were watching TV, he just said “I’m just gonna leave” and stormed out. On retrospect, I should have said “ok”, but I was so shocked I ran after him and asked him what happened. He then ranted that I was glued to my phone!?

Work has dried up so he’s been back in his hometown for 2 weeks and he mostly doesn’t answer when I call, but does text/call back another time and I’ve said to him that it’s very suspicious that he never answers my calls when he’s at his parents. Same happened today. When he called a few hours later I said the same thing and he hung up. I didn’t even know he hung up, I thought we got cut off, so I called back and asked what happened. He said “I cut you off” !!
Basically AIBU to be upset and confused or am I overthinking and not seeing things from his perspective???

OP posts:
Babbahabba · 21/06/2024 21:37

Slow fade.

Nomad14 · 21/06/2024 21:41

@Babbahabba do you mean he's doing a slow fade? I don't know, he seemed super excited about our plans for this coming week just yesterday...

OP posts:
MrTiddlesTheCat · 21/06/2024 21:43

He's punishing you for not having sex with him.

dibly · 21/06/2024 23:08

He doesn’t sound like he’s making much of an effort, and he also doesn’t sound much of a catch.

Nomad14 · 21/06/2024 23:40

He messaged goodnight with a kiss. I guarantee he will do the same tomorrow morning and would love to pretend that everything's back to normal tomorrow.
He definitely wants to keep me around, but hates me saying that I think it's suspicious that he doesn't answer when I call when he's home,
The storming out and hanging up the phone really hurt me!

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 22/06/2024 00:08

Fuck that. Stop chasing this idiot.

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