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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

His family drama

6 replies

Passmethewine44 · 21/06/2024 19:20

My boyfriend of 3 years has a really drama full family. He has 2 kids in their 20s. Hes barely been around them from them being 8 or 9. His ex wife was 5 hours away with them and stopped it.

He had a good relationship with his mum but his dad was a come and go dad. After his mum died his dad had 2 more marriages before he died last year. His final wife is wealthy and my bfs kids ended up moving to the grandads area and his wealthy wife bought houses to rent to them. My bf has been pushed out and so much bitching has gone on in that family.

His youngest dd always turns up at his door when the family drama gets too much. She walked back into his life in march and theyve got a relationship going again. Ive met her twice. But now the wife of his dead dad is giving her a hard time over her dad and speaking to him again. Shes always ringing her dad with these dramas and then hes ranting at me. But the minute i speak up and say anything about breaking the cycle and telling his dd he doesnt want to hear about it he snaps at me because shes his child.

Tonight shes rang saying shes being told not to speak to him again and i said its the same crap everyday and she needs to make a choice and defend it. He then got mad at me. He said why are we having this conversation.

Im the one having to deal with his low moods and hes all sunshine on the phone to his daughter. I almost feel he is thinking im jealous of his relationship with her. But its honestly beyond pathetic and its like they are never enjoying life. The two times ive met her they just sit discussing their mental health and how hard it is for them and they drone on about the last. Giggle at one or two memories of her as a kid. She brought weed over on fathers day and they were getting stoned whilst i sat in the other room.

I just need a rant.

OP posts:
ItsADoggieDogWorld · 21/06/2024 19:24

What on earth are you doing living like this? It cannot be enjoyable or fun.
You have a choice, so leave. You do not have to live like this.

TinyYellow · 21/06/2024 19:30

It was good to read at the end that you just need a rant, because otherwise you’re sounding really selfish. Would you tolerate someone who told you to cut contact with your child? Especially when she’s having a difficult time and needs her Dads support.

Passmethewine44 · 21/06/2024 19:42

Thats not what im trying to do at all?

OP posts:
Pumpituppump · 21/06/2024 20:28

Are you a mother?

ClickClickety · 21/06/2024 20:32

What a miserable relationship to be in. What is keeping you in it?

Passmethewine44 · 21/06/2024 21:37

Yeah im a mum. I probably have written that so selfish sounding. I have never discouraged him from talking to her. All i have said tonight is to discourage her from telling him about the dads partners opinions of him. It helps no one.

I am honestly struggling to find my place within this chaos. Its so uncomfortable. I cant see any resolve ahead. They just have been going round in circles for years

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