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Original poster

My husband accused me of cheating with no foundation- He has psychosis

31 replies

Cleopatra1975 · 21/06/2024 19:00

My husband accused me of cheating on him in March 24. I have never cheated in 21 years of marriage. He was loving but now treats me with contempt and only sometimes shows a tiny bit of tenderness. more recently there were outbursts of anger and he keeps saying he's wasted half his life and he's lost everything. I cannot reassure him. Hes always been a bit jealous. Since March 2024 he videod, recorded, tracked me; and hid in the house on 4 occasions -trying to get so-called evidence. It was a living nightmare. He accused me of breaking his nose (I told him i thought his swollen nose was an infection). His mind is very sharp and he is able to do his job. He wants a divorce and to sell the property. He doesn't accept he is ill either. His family convinced him to go to psychiatrist who diagnosed Psychosis. He only took the first dose of medication. Believed he had a bad reaction to it and didn't take it again. Should I just give up and get the divorce or fight for him?. His family have taken over getting him treatment so I am left in the cold. They aren't communicating much and I have no say in his treatment. Its been very distressing. He doesn't love or trust me. Is there any hope? If he gets treatment will he still want me? Is there anyone out there who has come through the same situation? Please only respond if you have experienced the same. Thanks

OP posts:
SomePig · 22/06/2024 14:53

There’s an episode of This American Life that has a section about this. They call it “delusional disorder jealousy subtype” in the show. The whole show’s worth a listen even though the jealousy story is only one part of it: https://www.thisamericanlife.org/506/

506: Secret Identity - This American Life

https://www.thisamericanlife.org/506/transcript

BouquetGarni224 · 22/06/2024 16:13

FunIsland · 22/06/2024 14:06

@BouquetGarni224

With all due respect, you admit repeatedly that you don’t have experience of this and that you could be wrong.

You've then gone on to make all sorts of judgements and sweeping statements about the OP’s position. Many of the assumptions that you’re making are clearly grounded in having no real idea about psychosis and it shows.

OP, I’m sorry that you’re going through this. Your husband sounds very unwell but is in that tricky stage of psychosis where he doesn’t accept that he’s ill and is not ill enough to be sectioned. It sounds like you’re doing an amazing job of trying to support him to make sense of his experiences and ideas but don’t forget that you need to look after yourself too. Handing the reins to his parents at the moment sounds like a really useful strategy to allow you both some space. It also sounds like you’re getting some great legal advice. No one can know how long he is going to be ill like this, there are a lot of variables and you just have to decide how long you can tolerate it if he won’t accept help.

If you read all my posts, you'll see I have posted from the viewpoint that it is Othello syndrome, and then posted from the viewpoint that there may be something else to it.

I haven't said one viewpoint is correct or vice versa.

I find certain aspects of this situation suspicious eg the accusation of domestic violence against the op, the fact that his family are cutting her out etc. and I think they're worth considering.
That is all.

BouquetGarni224 · 22/06/2024 17:04

sorts of judgements and sweeping statements

Mm, no - observations and suggestions.

And your absolute assumption that psychosis is the correct "narrative"/diagnosis in this case is not without fallability either.

JimmyGrimble · 22/06/2024 17:47

Just as a point of clarity - when a person is sectioned under the Mental Health Act they can no longer refuse medication. Medication for psychosis will then be given as a longer lasting depot injection. Unfortunately, the medication has side effects and it can take a while to get the right meds. My son was a bit zombiefied during his first section but is now doing much better on a modified dose. He’s due to come out and go into supported accommodation on a Community Treatment Order which basically means he goes back to the unit if he refuses.
OP, it might seem like a daft question but has your partner ever had a drug problem? Cocaine or marijuana? That can cause psychosis and paranoia.

Original poster
Cleopatra1975 · 22/06/2024 18:46

JimmyGrimble · 22/06/2024 17:47

Just as a point of clarity - when a person is sectioned under the Mental Health Act they can no longer refuse medication. Medication for psychosis will then be given as a longer lasting depot injection. Unfortunately, the medication has side effects and it can take a while to get the right meds. My son was a bit zombiefied during his first section but is now doing much better on a modified dose. He’s due to come out and go into supported accommodation on a Community Treatment Order which basically means he goes back to the unit if he refuses.
OP, it might seem like a daft question but has your partner ever had a drug problem? Cocaine or marijuana? That can cause psychosis and paranoia.

@JimmyGrimble I'm sorry about your son. No my husband doesn't take drugs. He was taking a cocktail of vitamin tablets to keep going. His psychosis came from being deeply unhappy in his life (isolated from friends and family who don't live nearby, and working long hours. Not getting enough sleep) His life was work eat and sleep, and before the first psychotic episode he couldn't see a way out the deadlock. Because of having to pay bills /mortgage etc
@BouquetGarni224 I agree with you that the circumstances are suspicious and on the face of it it looks like he is making deliberate actions against me. It is his illness which is my enemy. Yes he is looking for a way out of the marriage which he feels is his prison. The psychosis is almost like his minds cry for help. He wants closure and peace of mind.

OP posts:
pikkumyy77 · 22/06/2024 18:58

I really don’t think that is the etiology of the behavior you describe unless he is bipolar with psychotic features. Stress does not bring on psychosis. But if you really think it did then letting him go—ending the mortgage and family responsibilities—is all you can do.

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