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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Mental abuse?

5 replies

ForKookyPoet · 21/06/2024 18:33

Hello everyone. I'm 53 now and my late husband was 60 when he passed 12 years ago..19 year old age difference. He used to tell me I was useless, what good was I to him, even though I contributed towards bills, etc. There were no kids. I would often lock myself in the bathroom, while he was in a drunken rage, banging on the door, laughing that our dog was too weak to protect me. He had a good job, we had a nice house and he would always update my car. I will never forget the time I told him I was leaving, after he had banged my head against the wall, that he would finance a car for me. I don't know why ulim writing this only to need confirmation that he was mentally abusive.

OP posts:
mrandmrsrobinson · 21/06/2024 19:04

Yes. Emotionally and physically! Therapy could help you unravel the abuse and restore your self confidence and esteem.

ForKookyPoet · 21/06/2024 19:15

mrandmrsrobinson · 21/06/2024 19:04

Yes. Emotionally and physically! Therapy could help you unravel the abuse and restore your self confidence and esteem.

Thank you. I think it comes from being in a family of 5 daughters, where I was the youngest. I felt I had to fight for attention.

OP posts:
ILikeALemonWedgeInMyGin · 21/06/2024 19:41

Yes he was abusive. Unfortunately if he's dead nothing can be done in terms of punishment or justice however there's many options to help you heal, reach out to a therapist and see what help they can provide

B1rd · 21/06/2024 21:34

I truly hope that you have found peace and happiness since this abusive man died.

ForKookyPoet · 21/06/2024 22:20

B1rd · 21/06/2024 21:34

I truly hope that you have found peace and happiness since this abusive man died.

Thank you. I spent a few years mourning him but within that time, I was revisiting whether what he had done to me was wrong. Hope that makes sense. It's like I now know he was abusive but when you're in the thick of it, you are just trying to make sense. When he was good, he was really good.

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