Dumped

[sunnyseas]

How common is it to be ghosted?

I am new to dating as I got divorced a couple of years ago and met my ex at University.

I started a non serious relationship with someone I have know for a while (but not very well). We are in our early 40s and both divorced with kids. The casual arrangement suited us.

We got on well as friends too and I was aware that he had some problems with a parent. I offered to listen if he wanted to vent but he said he didn't. He is now ignoring my messages, or should I say the last one.

I realise something is going on with him but don't think the parent has died or anything.

It's made me feel lonely and a bit angry that I've got no one to speak to about things that bother me and I am being ignored when I've tried to be nice and supportive.

Any comments/advice appreciated. I'm a bit new to this dating thing

I've had it - can't say how common it is, but it's bloody rude and hurtful.
If it's someone you know - count as a friend, or more, then more so.
You just have to force yourself to think 'It just shows they weren't worth the effort or emotional investment'.
No one to talk to? Talk to me if you want.

It doesn’t sound as though a casual relationship is for you at this stage. I wouldn’t expect to be in constant communication with a FWB / casual sexual partner, or assuming I’d be the first person above their other friends who they’d turn to; though it sounds as though you haven’t agreed with each other the level of contact and friendship you’re each expecting from the other - which is always really important to do upfront with a FWB.

Tell him that it’s been fun, but you don’t think the arrangement is going to work out for you. Then concentrate on making some actual friends for mutual support and care. Whilst it’s not impossible to have a caring and emotionally supportive relationship with a FWB, it isn’t always simple to negotiate, and it’s not one that should replace other friendships.

Thanks for the replies. I do have friends but wouldn't really want to burden them with my problems. I also wouldn't expect the FWB to listen to problems. On the whole it was light and breezy fun. I just offered to listen as I would do for most people who were having a bad time.

From a thread on here people seem to have varying amounts of contact with FWBs. It was just infrequent contact. Having said that I don't think I'd opt for a FWB next time round, if there is one

I also wouldn’t expect the FWB to listen to problems?

Not much of an F….