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Feeling lost

2 replies

SarahM180 · 21/06/2024 11:02

I have had on and off relationship with a man I know deep down isn't suitable for me, we have had issues in the past he has been very judgemental and mean. He in the past has shouted, sworn and grabbed my wrist and phone grabbed headphones off my head and also thrown his phone at me recently which hit my hip but he says he threw it on the bed I am bedbound so I couldn't move away from it. We argued because we had a no phone secrecy agreement due to trust issues and I held up my part by letting him see my phone whenever and my social media when I asked if I could see his he refused and that's when in a row about it he threw his phone at me he still claims it was thrown on the bed. I said I didn't want to continue this because I am very unwell and its not good for me I have muscular dystrophy and heart problems a hip condition and much more. His answer was when I said I wanted him to change which he promised months ago he would and he didn't his reply was maybe thats part of the problem is me i want him to change. There are some things in a relationship I can see past but these things I cannot problem is due to severe isolation and fear due to health I keep having him back in my home when I know I shouldn't I just feel so lost and lonely and isolated. He takes no responsibility for his actions he says he loves and cares for me he does help me when I need help but this doesn't feel like love.

OP posts:
ColdGirlWinter · 21/06/2024 11:06

You are just hanging on to him because you are isolated and think it is better than nothing or that he will be there to support you and it is clear he won't. You can't make him change but you can change your approach to him, which should be to stop him coming round. Does he live with you or have a key to your house? That needs to change immediately. He is taking advantage and taking the mickey.

Do you have other family, friends, carers etc? You need him out of your life and you need support to keep him out.

SarahM180 · 21/06/2024 11:15

ColdGirlWinter · 21/06/2024 11:06

You are just hanging on to him because you are isolated and think it is better than nothing or that he will be there to support you and it is clear he won't. You can't make him change but you can change your approach to him, which should be to stop him coming round. Does he live with you or have a key to your house? That needs to change immediately. He is taking advantage and taking the mickey.

Do you have other family, friends, carers etc? You need him out of your life and you need support to keep him out.

I do have carers yes 3 times a day I see my daughter but because I am quite ill I don't see her as often as I would like as seeing my grandchildren who I love and adore sadly causes me a lot of pain and exhaustion.

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