OLD - what are the signs he’s married?

[Crushed23]

Chatting to a guy who is always 21 miles away from Thursday evening through the weekend, then 2 miles away during the week (in London), but says he lives in London and has given no indication that he divides his time between places.

Free to meet at a very specific date in the future (when his wife and kids are away no doubt) but not before. Hasn’t specified what’s keeping him busy between now and when he wants to meet.

So obviously this one is married and needs to be thrown back. But I’m interested - what are the other signs?

Oh, another thing. He’s going on holiday in August somewhere that is unbearably busy and hot in August. Why would a single man choose to go away in the middle of the school holidays?!

Only rings or texts during the day
Cagey about his surname

Hard to pin down for an actual date - defo not weekends or eves usually

Small lies

As time goes on doesn't introduce you to friends let alone family

Only chats/gets on phone during work hours or after wife gone to bed

Photos on OLD tend to be taken in the bathroom! Or outside the home

Keeping you a secret from his friends and family. Acting shifty when out in public. Wanting to mostly see you behind closed doors.

If he seems miserable and worn down...

Luckily we didn’t exchange surnames but he is very private. Super vague about his job, “I work in X”, like mentioned the field rather than the job.

Not on social media. Of any kind - turns out the fella I met on OLD was very married with 8 DC of various ages - he'd given a fake name so I couldn't find him.

Yes, he has picked a place to meet for a date that’s weeks away. What guy is that organised? It’s clearly somewhere he’s confident no one he knows will see him.

Wow… the lengths some men go to.

I might start checking IDs on my future dates.

It’s funny you say that, this one does seem quite depressed. But I would be too, if I were leading a double life.

He sounds married but I never say where I work because I have an unusual name and work in a niche area so I don't want them looking me up on LinkedIn etc.

I met somebody OLD and I liked him. He had an x wife. He popped up in my Facebook suggestions. I looked for his "x wife" who had a fairly unusual name, and lo and behold although his wife's settings were locked down, she was running a race in aid of something and that was open and I could read messages sponsors had put. He himself had made a donation about half an hour ago. He was friends on fb with her siblings (same surname as her,)

While I was digesting what that meant (cogs shift) as it could have been very amicable, I checked again and he'd disappeared off fb, so he must have blocked me!! Too late buddy, I saw her.

Luckily I'd only met him once. It's just so annoying to be blatantly lied to.

Just ask him straight up. Have a phone call and put him on the spot.

When he wants to meet somewhere that’s not convenient to either of you. E.g. you live in Winchester and he lives in Southampton but he wants to meet up in Portsmouth. It’s because he doesn’t want to run into anyone he knows.

He will give excuses as to why he can't bring women back to his house.

He wants to meet miles away from where he lives.

Afternoon meets
Last minute meets
Short meets with a specified end time
A hungry thirsty look about the gills
A bit shifty but can’t put your finger on it
“Working” long hours
Texts that take a while to have the blue ticks
Calls go unanswered “prefers texting”
They are very “private”

Oh yes and very vague about when he can meet up again. "Things are a bit hectic for X number of weeks"

May say he has an ex and kids but "we just grew apart". Thats what my now ex told women on tinder while still sleeping in my bed!!!

Lying is like breathing to these people, I wouldn’t bother.

I just find it amusing and a bit pathetic.

If a man looks good for his age, it's an indication he's married, if he looks 10 years older than his age, then he's definitely single.

Oh this is a good one 😁

Allergic to perfume so could you please not wear any or anything too scented make up wise.

Fucking men. One kept rejecting date suggestions despite asking me to go for dinner. Couldn't do weekends as he "played golf". Then he told me that he thought we could have a "WhatsApp relationship" 🤣. I found his wife on FB. Fortunately no children but a massive twat nonetheless. That ended my attempts at dating. Never again. They all bloody cheat. I divorced a prolific cheat. Why on Earth would I inflict that pain on somebody else. So many of my friends have unknowingly dated married men. It's grim.

He won't message much when he's away if he's in a relationship or be keen to take a phone call. I wouldn't bother if going on a date planned weeks in advance, he doesn't have much time to date so he's not going to be available much after for anything more.

This hasn't happened to me but I've read here that some men can use "the kids don't know we're not together" as an excuse, which makes sneaking you at the back of a hole in the wall type of place on a Tuesday, at 3pm seem NOBLE. He"s a good Dad. 🙄

Definitely not going to go on the date! He’s already in the bin.