I feel like this deserves a bit of backstory...
Me and OH have been together 6 years. At the end of last year I fell pregnant, due to a lot going on at the time I won't go into details I didn't keep the baby, I spiralled after, went to a dark place, didn't look after myself and I would say it's taken me about 6 months to feel back to being me, it's not something I would ever of seen myself doing and it was a complete head over heart decision. 6 months after OH also got a vasectomy as he was adamant he didn't want children (which we both had said at the start of relationship) so that I would never have to go through it again and we were safe.
Since the loss things sexually haven't been great, I think before vasectomy we were both very anxious about getting pregnant, post vasectomy he never really initiates sex. The times we have it's been over pretty quickly. He's barely intimate at all with me he more selfish and I am struggling. Sex is quite important to me and I did say this from the start. I have put on weight (so has he also though same amount but I admit I don't wear it as well) so I worry that's put him off too.
I woke up the other night to a dream making out with another man. I would never in a million years do this irl but it's made me realise even on a subconscious level how much this is effecting me. I've tried to talk to him before this about lack of it and he mentions vasectomy, feeling more sensitive etc but nothing changes and there's no solutions. I feel like he's lost interest in me.
I know I need to leave and I would never cheat but I just feel a bit gutted as a year ago things were fine.