Urgh, please don’t judge me. And sorry this turned out long.
I have a bit of a crush on my boss and I know that it’s mutual but obviously not ok because of our work relationship. And I am currently in the process of moving internally to a better role and he has been super supportive. Anyway, that’s not the main issue.
When I say supportive I mean it. I really made a big mistake in work and he had been absolutely fantastic support and really protective. I think I’m a bit in awe of him because he just doesn’t seem bothered or worried ever and just sails through everything. I mean I really messed up but somehow he has managed to spin it around so I’m now seen as a “tragic victim of circumstance” or whatever he called it, and I seem to be getting out of it all without consequences somehow.
So yeah, I do really admire this and I have no idea how he does it but several things happened this week that made me feel uneasy. He asked me to forward him something and I asked why and I really didn’t like the response. While this would all be good for me it meant that he would be throwing someone else under the bus for something that they hadn’t done. I told him that I wouldn’t do it because the other person had done nothing wrong and I didn’t want them implicated.
The other thing was that he mentioned that someone in our group was on leave because of “apparently some bereavement in the family”. This might sound stupid but I could tell that everyone was saddened to hear this because we care about our colleague. He was the only one who seemed irritated by it all and I kept thinking that this was very strange.
I know that I have waffled a lot, and I apologise for it. I do like him and I feel really drawn to him but something just registered in me this week, and im trying to understand it. Something about his comments just isn’t right and I’m wrecking my head if I’m just misinterpreting things which is of course an option.