Social services question

[Ccbow]

Myself and my ex boyfriend had an argument few months ago he was drunk. I wanted to leave the room to shut down the situation and ex boyfriend pulled me back onto the bed. Anyway the police were called and he was arrested for assault. My teenage son was in his room so a child was in the house.
I ended it with the bf because when he drank I didn’t like the person he was but he wasn’t that person sober. This is the first incident by the way.
social services was called and it was shut down because we weren’t in a relationship.
my ex bf hasn’t drank since the incident in April and wants to put things right by stopping any drinking not that he was an alcoholic.
if I did decide to if i was confident after a certain amount of time he could stick to his plea of not drinking and I wanted to give the relationship another go would I have to tell social services even if it was say 6months to a year down the line ? I can’t find any info online

If he is taking tablets then he is alcohol dependent. So an alcoholic.

The test you talking about doesn’t prove low level drinking and is not available by request in the NHS because your girlfriend wants it.

Though I expect you don’t live in the UK?

You obviously want to get back with him so nobody here can stop you.

Just a shame it’s your son who will have to pick up the pieces.

PS: my alcoholic exh claimed he’d been to the doctor and got his liver tested and it was fine. He died of liver failure four years later. They lie.

Please don't do this to your child. Even if he is sober at the moment and what if he falls off the wagon when you're back together? Why risk your child witnessing that (or worse) again?

You have to choose who is more important. This man or your own child.

Who called the police?

Alcohol is only dectectable in blood for up to 12 hours.

This is all bollocks OP. Put your child first.

Your changing the story at first you said he was seeing the doctor every month to proove he's not been drinking when people pointed out that's not true a gp would nlt do that . You then changed it to he has blood tests because of tablets he's on. Why are you covering for him?

Cmon now you said he wasn’t an alkie but he clearly is if he’s on meds to stop him and getting regular blood tests, you don’t just get that in the asking.

have you pretended to split up with him and now you’re wondering die how long do you need to keep it up?

and no one gets charged with assault for simply pulling you down on the bed.

what nonsense.

Yeah and the police were called and charged him with assault for pulling her onto the bed.

who called them? And as said no one gets charged with assault for that. No one.

When your child has grown up and left home feel free to go back to an abusive drunk.

Whilst you have a child at home stay clear.

Abusive drinks will be abusive drunks again. Two months is no time at all.

Op won’t be back. A quick AS shows she only tell part of a story, I assume in hope of getting the responses she wants. Like she hasn’t mentioned that she has another younger child that’s needs considering as well. Or the husband she is thinking of getting back with.

Though I would hope she is actually off googling the medication, criteria and PEth testing. What it does and doesn’t show and what’s it available for.

Peth tests show up to 4 weeks. But the bloke isn't having peth tests.

You do know a blood test shows no alcohol in their system now. I know several functional alcoholics who schedule their drinking around it. Hair testing shoes up any expose and drugs.

Honestly are you really willing to risk your sons physical safety because that is what's at risk.

OP, social services, who were trying to protect your son, only closed the case because you weren't in a relationship with this man. Which means, if you had been, they'd have been concerned enough about your son to use scarce resources to monitor the situation.

Its worth saying again: Professional people, who see all sorts would have been concerned for YOUR son if you were in a relationship with this man.

And now you intend to get into a relationship with him. Are YOU not concerned for your son?

Just remember that when a person is drunk it's their real personality showing though from behind their mask of sobriety.

There are much better men out there. Seriously, raise your bar. Or even better, stay single & prioritise your child.

I work in the system and this is definitely not a thing. There isn't even funding for people who actually need medical tests 🙄. And it would only show if you'd been drinking within that day anyway. What about the other 29?

Your child witnessed something which will be a core memory they will never forget. From the vague details I'm guessing they had to call the police in a very frightening situation. It will have been potentially traumatic for your child.

Please do not do this. Even if he has completely changed it doesn't matter. All you are doing is telling your child that your relationship is more important than their psychological (and physical) safety and modelling awful relationships for them. Evidently you have your own issues to work through and I know that's not an easy thing. I assume a lot of things in life have happened to you that are not your fault and are not your fault you ended up here. You can choose to stop this and to expect better for yourself and your child.

If you believe he's changed then wish him well and move on. Hopefully his next relationship will be better. It's too late for yours. What happened cannot be repaired.

I doubt the op will be back.

It’s always the same sadly, if it gets to a level social services are involved due to a man’s violence and the woman wants to get back with him, she will often underplay it.

in this instance I’m not even sure she ever genuinely ended it with him.

Those tablets she described also are no longer prescribed. She's talking shite

Don't get back with him.

Your son will resent you.
Do better

I didn't know this was a thing

Wake up fool

It's not