NC for this.
I've been with my partner for nearly 7 years, we got together when my DD was 3 and we've since had 2 more children DS5 and DS7weeks.
Over the last 3-4 years I've felt like he completely sat back and left everything to me. He's become lazy, selfish, moody, miserable and it's got to the point I can't stand the sight of him. Not helped by the fact he lost his job just before I had baby in April, and no sign of getting another job. So I'm currently paying for everything out of my mat leave and savings. He has no income coming in at all but is borrowing money for his essentials from his parents. He says he's enjoying being off with the kids as he's always worked full time and missed out on our older DS being newborn as he worked full time.
All he does, all day, is sit and play Xbox games. He picks up the older 2 from school and that's it, he avoids doing anything for the baby and becomes visibly anxious if he's left with the baby as he only settled for me and he doesn't like his gaming interrupted.
I know people will say this is my fault for having another baby, but he was contributing at the time and i didn't foresee him losing his job and laying about all day. He never leaves the house, has no friends, no money, doesn't drive, cba doing anything with the kids so I feel like I have 4 kids.
I desperately want to end things, but I'm suffering with postpartum anxiety and struggling myself so I feel like I'm just keeping the peace at the moment so I have help, I've mentally told myself I'll end it once the baby is a bit older but I can't wait that long and feel like I'm close to exploding.
We're on completely different paths in life, and he's dragging me down. He has nowhere to go if he leaves which makes me feel guilty and I'm worried about what the kids will think. Nor do I think he will leave, we've had this conversation many times and he promises change that never comes. I know I'm spineless.
Has anyone got any advice? My heads a mess and I'm highly emotional so may not be thinking clearly but I don't know how much more I can take, I may be causing myself more stress