Inner child work and it's impact on relationships z

[poppyfieldss]

I'm 50 and all my
Life I have felt lesser to men. This is due to my upbringing.

I've lived out that life by undervaluing myself and choosing one shit man after another and allowing myself to be treated appallingly.

I finally married but really I settled.
No skikda, qualifications, no home, no car and I don't really think I was even attracted to him... but he loved me... until I became a wife and mother and then I wasn't fun spontaneous poppy anymore.
He had an affair and left a world of carnage behind him, namely our kids who were and still are traumatised but relieved also.

So here I am today.. I'm
Doing the work and have really started to explore inner child work with my therapist
.
I feel stronger as I navigate this new area but boy does my life make sense now !
I've become completely disinterested in actively intentionally dating but would love to love again someday.

Can anyone share their own experiences with this please?

It's a liberating but lonely journey but I'm thrilled that already, my boundaries seem to have tightened up or maybe even realising that I now have boundaries for the first time in my life.

I did feel Shame, regret, remorse,
embarrassment but now I don't .
I see those feelings as feelings of an emotionally stunted woman who at that time had no idea of what equality and mutual love felt like in a relationship.
I'd love to hear some of your own experiences if you would share please?

Anyone? Please?

I'm doing inner child work at the minute. Kind of. My story is very similar to yours. Settling in a marriage, him leaving me for another woman when I couldn't be a mother to him anymore and now being intentionally single while I focus on myself.

I am enjoying living life for myself and by myself now. Although I am struggling with my relationships with my family. I never realised just how disfunctional my childhood was until I had my own kids in my 30s. It is my childhood and ongoing relationships with my family that have shaped my poor self esteem and codependency into adulthood. Even this weekend I found it hard being around family. But I am struggling with the idea of cutting them off completely/cutting down contact. I have tremendous guilt over not wanting to spend time with them. But they hurt me and the entire time I'm with them sees me falling into the same harmful dynamic.

I don't have the answers for it yet, other than recognising it as an issue.

Yes also similar. Once I started therapy it was a very quick shift into understanding and beginning healing. I had and still have lots to work out and work on from a stupidly early age. The light bulb moments come with lots of painful emotions but healing through this and sometimes just pure relief to rid myself of other people's sh!t mostly that they bestowed on me. Ditto the bad relationships. I'm slowly finding my way in the dating world again with a new outlook. It's terrifying, exciting, interesting, frankly weird at times but I'm going into it with new mindset and support. I just have to remember to keep aware and it's certainly much easier to spot any issues than it has ever been. Good luck op.

i am following this thread.

My own journey is an evolution from egoic identity to the innocent natural Self state by unlearning the programmed and conditioned behaviours imprinted on me.