Hi
I've been married to my husband for 2 years, together for 7 years. 6 months after we got together he suffered from a stroke. He was very young, fit and healthy so complete shock. He made a great recovery and does not have any deficits as a result of this. He has been on daily medication since this.
Fast forward to now, we have a beautiful baby girl who we both just adore. I love my husband, and he's a great dad but I can't help but feel so much resentment as honestly I think if it was up to him, he'd be happy to never have sex again. This has really just gotten progressively worse since the stroke and I have of course been very sensitive to this. I've put myself out there so many times and been constantly rejected or if we did do it, I just knew he'd rather not. Whilst I was pregnant I was too frightened to have sex as we'd suffered a loss previously, but honestly I think that suited him. Even when trying for a baby it was clear that he didn't love how much sex you have to have to make a baby, and it did happen quickly for us both times so wasnt a long process. After bubs was born I chatted about how I felt ready again and how did he feel about it etc, and he said yeah let's do it. So about a week later I suggested we make up the sofa bed downstairs as baby girl is in our room. After putting her down I got all ready, makeup, underwear etc. I was feeling so vulnerable as not feeling my best 3 months post partum and in addition I'd done this before with underwear etc only to be shot down and told "aw you're killing me, I really wanted to just chill". So I go downstairs and the sofa bed isn't made up and he's watching TV. So there I sit in my underwear and small robe for an hour and nothing, he didn't even kiss me. Eventually I said I was going to bed and he looked so confused and asked why. I burst into tears and explained how I was feeling lonely, unattractive, rejected etc and had been sitting in basically nothing for an hour for nothing to happen. I told him I'm never putting myself in that position again, and now the ball would have to be in his court and since then nothing at all. He doesn't even kiss me apart from a peck on the lips. Whenever I have brought this up in the past he has said he doesn't know why, mentioned his medication or low sex drive and said if he's not enough for me then he doesn't know what we should do. He's not willing to work on it at all with me. I'm just looking for an outsider perspective really as I'm feeling so deflated and my self confidence is in the toilet really. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks so much if you made it this far.