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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Tussle this morning

21 replies

LastStraw123 · 19/06/2024 08:10

I was asking the kids to brush their teeth. Husband told me to shut up and stop telling everyone what to do. I’m just trying to get everyone ready on time for school. I had just braided my hair which had taken me a while, my husband grabs at one of the braids to purposefully upset me, in a reaction I turned round and slapped him round the head. He then cornered me in bathroom and would not let me leave saying I needed to apologise. Which I refused. He then went into the bedroom and closed the door. I opened it and he had his fist out ready for me to walk into which I did. I then pushed him on the bed. I have been in dv relationship before for 6 years and I would never fight back, I made a promise to myself that if any man ever does that again I would. Am I in the wrong? He says I am

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 19/06/2024 08:12

Sounds toxic, you hit him too. You need to end it before it escalates.

nopestillnotmanagedto · 19/06/2024 08:12

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LastStraw123 · 19/06/2024 08:13

It is awful. And never happened before

OP posts:
CucumberBagel · 19/06/2024 08:15

He's a dick, leave.

Anywherebuthere · 19/06/2024 08:16

You're both in the wrong.

You slapping him is worse than him being annoying.
Slapping is unforgivable.

nopestillnotmanagedto · 19/06/2024 08:17

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OrlandointheWilderness · 19/06/2024 08:17

CucumberBagel · 19/06/2024 08:15

He's a dick, leave.

HE'S a dick!?! Yes he is, but you slapped him round the head for tugging on a plait! Let's not twist this all onto the man in typical MN fashion, this is toxic and abusive from both directions.

nopestillnotmanagedto · 19/06/2024 08:18

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nopestillnotmanagedto · 19/06/2024 08:20

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StopGo · 19/06/2024 08:24

I have an almost primal urge to slap anyone who pulls my hair. I avoid such dangers wherever possible.

I can understand why you lashed out but this relationship is toxic and your children deserve better.

CucumberBagel · 19/06/2024 08:27

OrlandointheWilderness · 19/06/2024 08:17

HE'S a dick!?! Yes he is, but you slapped him round the head for tugging on a plait! Let's not twist this all onto the man in typical MN fashion, this is toxic and abusive from both directions.

He pulled her hair then cornered her aggressively. Give over.

Sunnysummer24 · 19/06/2024 08:30

You’ve been exposing your children to abuse for the last 3 year. It’s time to step up and put a stop to it and get your children some support for the abuse they’ve experienced.

RB68 · 19/06/2024 08:30

self defense is not abusive.

You were not telling him what to do,

He is waiting with a fist

Sorry but he needs to go its only going to get worse

nopestillnotmanagedto · 19/06/2024 08:30

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DaisyChain505 · 19/06/2024 08:31

He’s a dick and you’re obviously not acting as the best version of you when you’re with him. This relationship is toxic.

PashaMinaMio · 19/06/2024 08:31

Six of one and half dozen of the other.
You are both as bad as each other.
All sounds very toxic.
Poor children.
You reap what you sow.
Suggest you both agree to separate.

OrlandointheWilderness · 19/06/2024 08:31

@CucumberBagel she hit him round the face and threw him on a bed!!
I've already said he is an abusive dick, but the OP was violent and abusive too. Nothing, NOTHING, excuses violence and the fact he is a dick does not absolve her.

Kylie83 · 19/06/2024 08:33

A post of yours from 2021, also states you pushed your partner/husband because he squared up to your 10 year old. She would now be 13 or so, you both need to separate before you damage your kids even further.

nopestillnotmanagedto · 19/06/2024 08:39

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StrawberryWater · 19/06/2024 10:22

WTF is wrong with you op. Start protecting your kids. Kick this man out and go and do a freedom program. Your poor kids.

longdistanceclaraclara · 19/06/2024 10:25

A tussle? That's not a tussle.

You were both in the wrong and you need to end it now, and get your poor kids some counselling.

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