I initially posted I think back in early 2017 after my husband sat me down before xmas and told me he was leaving me. I was bereft, heartbroken, had a nervous breakdown, lost 5 stone in 3 months and went into a dark haze. My family had to step in to help me look after my kids. Wow the devastation was the worst pain I’ve ever felt. In March 2017, I found out about OW. She was also married and worked with him. An ‘emotional’ affair apparently. By the july, he wanted to come back. It had been 7 months of him being gone. I say he was gone very loosely because I was his puppet the whole time. I let him emotionally, sexually and financially abuse me throughout our separation. He’d come at night for sex. He’d let himself into my house (id let him keep his key), he’d have the kids at the weekend but his flying monkey mother would cover for him Fridays so he could go see OW whilst I thought he was with the kids at MIL’s house. When I think back, I’m so very disappointed with myself. It’s near 7 years later and I now despise him. I read a book actually last week called ‘should I stay or go’ and a clarity came over me like a ton of bricks. My enabling actions since he came home only fed his narcissistic personality and he’s got progressively worse since. I’m a married single parent. He drinks all night and sleeps all day. He does no cleaning, doesnt help with the kids and is only concerned about himself before anyone else. We don’t sleep together any more and that suits me. I can’t stay with him. It took me years to come to this realisation of how vulnerable and taken advantage I was. I was abused. In every sense of the word. I’ve been a door mat and have spent the last 6-7 years hoping things would get better. And now I know they won’t. So it’s time to get my ducks in a row. I need to prepare to leave. Before I lose my sanity as well as my pride.