How to handle being dumped

[Elylife]

I've been seeing someone for a few months now and generally really like him, although it's very early days.
I'm becoming to realise that I have a really deep fear of rejection. It's like I'm always anticipating something going wrong, and that I'll be hurt.
It's affecting my wellbeing and the relationship.
Recently, I've noticed that he is definitely pulling away - I'm sure it's because I'm too full on.
We are meeting today at 1 and I'm convinced he will end things. My rational brain can see that I'll be fine and that I don't want to be with somebody who doesn't like me anyway.
But my nervous system is all over the place! I'm a wreck.
Does anyone have any tips on how to react when we meet and if he ends things? I'm worried I'll act irrationally and make a total twat of myself. I need to stay calm!
No idea what's wrong with me!!!!

What does being too full on look like to you? It's all relative. Counselling is the way forwards for dealing with your rejection anxiety. I'd advise doing it before you try to date again, work on yourself in between.
If you are worrying over nothing, you should still seek help for the relationship you are in.
I find the strength to deal with the end of a relationship comes from knowing you have a life on your own, your friends and family and work, so the world won't stop and a man should only enhance your life, not become your life. So don't put too much into it, keep a bit of yourself back and have your own things going on.

We met and just had a nice coffee, no mention of ending things at all.
It's made me realise that I'm really cracking up and making myself anxious over nothing.
I'm now thinking that I may have to end things myself so that I can have the time to work on whatever's going on with me!
I think part of the problem is that it's my first relationship after a difficult divorce and I'm not sure my head is in the right place.

OK so, it might be that you have some general issues you need to work through as a result of past trauma or, poor mental health. Or, maybe your instincts are picking up on something.

The talk of your nervous system going haywire...smack of something to do with abuse in my experience. Either, past abuse or, instincts telling you this person might be...predatorial but you're ignoring them because you like him.

Though tbf, it could simply be fear of ending up in another really stressful relationship again. Liking him but not wanting another situation where you never know where you stand. Where love comes at a huge cost.

Either way, I agree you should take a step back, maybe have some personal therapy. And whether it's ever been a factor or not, read up on red flags of abuse (or red flags in general). Because something is making you very uneasy in this relationship. So you want to rule out that there aren't red flags you're willfully ignoring.

Thank you.
That has really made me think. My ex husband was a very difficult man and has some very significant mental health issues. Loving him really did come at a huge cost to me and I'm very keen not to get into a relationship like that ever again.

The problem is that I'm not sure if this new relationship is making me nervous or if my own mental health is causing severe anxiety due to what's happened in the past.
Difficult for me to work out at the moment.
I need to detach from him a little to work that out I think.

As lovely as your new BF might be it’s probably not good time to be getting into new relationship. How likely are you to spot red flags if you are so focused on not being rejected?
could you just to stay friends while you work in yourself?

I wish I had therapy after leaving my 1st husband, got to know myself, healed from trauma.
sending hugs !

Maybe don’t go and do something that you want to do instead then it will give you time to think about it and emotionally prepare yourself for whatever the conversation will be are you could just ask him on a message if you want to end things and then save meeting up about it, you know