Telling ex (co parent) about new relationship

[sooverthisnow76]

My ex and I split up 2 years ago. We have 3 DC, aged 9, 11, 15. I have been seeing someone for the 8 months and I want too make the DC aware that I’m involved with somebody. So far they haven’t known about it as I saw no need, but there are a few social things coming up where there will be mutual friends or even friends of the DC around where it’s likely to become common knowledge. I don’t want them finding out as a shock at the wrong moment from somebody else. I’m not going to introduce him to them yet, just make them aware of it. I feel the right thing to do is let my ex know so the DC don’t feel they are keeping secrets or worry about saying the wrong thing. Never had to do this before so I guess I’m asking is this the right way to do it? Tell ex then tell DC? I should add ex’s reaction is not at all predictable but could turn into drama. That’s another reason I want to tell him before he hears it from the DC. That way I get to deal with his initial reaction, not them.

Having been in the very upsetting position of finding out about XH new relationship because our two children were very distressed (and had been told things like, don't tell your mum), it caused enormous problems trying to play catch up helping my children get used to the idea, supporting them emotionally and coparenting in a positive, consistent and mutually supportive way. So - please tell your ex first. It's not about obtaining permission, approval or them passing judgement, it's solely so that they can, along with you, help your children navigate the post-separation environment.