AIBU friend

[BucketfullOfRoses]

Myself & DH have a friend, we've known them for a good few years.
We get on well but they're known to think about things to much to the point where it gets a bit silly. They do this with others too.

My AIBU is that my parents were visiting and staying a few nights, and DH and friend where at home having a few drinks (not much just one or two) and my parents wanted to go to bed in the front room.

My elderly mum felt embarrassed about being in her PJs and mentioned to me about saying to friend that they wanted to go to bed.
So I told them politely that we (myself and parents) wanted to go bed and I'll let them finish their drinks and that was it. This was around 11pm at night.

All was fine, friend went away happily.

Next day wake up to a a phone call saying they felt uncomfortable and it was controlling & rude of my parents and they won't be coming over anymore. Which I guess is fair enough, I don't expect them to come over they can do what they like.

My parents have gone now and they are still very very upset with me & DH. I've been in tears as I don't think I've really done anything wrong?

Aibu?

Sorry trying to keep this generic as I'm worried they will see this post.

We all have friends like that... you are not being unreasonable, they are actually being very unreasonable, you've an elderly mum who rightly felt uncomfortable in her pj's, you did everything right.
But with them being like this, give it a couple of weeks and invite them back again when your mum isn't there.
Your parents won't be around forever so they are your primary responsibility, look after them first.

Thing is they don't think they're being unreasonable at all, they've said all sorts of things some of which make no sense at all as we've never said anything of the sort.

Just getting me down, I didn't think I was being unreasonable I thought they would of understood considering I only see my parents twice a year!

They are nuts and actually kind of thoughtless / self absorbed

Ignore it and if the friendship wanes. let it.

Your friend sounds a bit odd, it sounds like you handled the situation as diplomatically as you could.

If your friend comes back it's probably for the best that they don't come over for a visit when you've got other guests. It's a lot to manage the needs of different guests even if they're easy going. I'd get your DH to take him to the pub for a drink if there is a next time.

Friend said that they said they were finishing their drink before I said anything, but I didn't hear them as was in another room so had no idea. I didn't even say it directly to them just to DH. All I meant was just keep it quiet as DH tends to talk loudly nothing about the friend as they are a good house guest.

I think if they do visit in future like you say it's best not to have them over when other people are here. I even feel on edge writing this post!

YANBU. Your friend was quite rude.

YANBU. Elderly parents have funny little quirks, mine have great big fuck off quirks! - but they are our parents and to be cherished, regardless of how flaky they become in old age. This takes priority and your friend is a selfish diva. Wishing you many happy family times 💕